Personal development legend Jim Rohn once said, “Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development.” I’ve always thought we should strive to be the best we can be (although I confess up front that I don’t always know how to do that or what it should look like), but hearing that quote solidified it for me. If we want to experience the best life has to offer, we need to show up as our best selves.
But that’s not the only reason we should continually work to develop ourselves. We are physical expressions of The Divine, and as such, perfection is our natural state. Not the kind of ego based perfection we often strive for that says we aren’t good enough as we are, or, conversely, that we are better than others. I’m talking about the kind of perfection that comes from being comfortable in our own skin and with our divine heritage. The kind of perfection that comes from knowing ourselves, being ourselves, and loving ourselves. The kind of perfection that comes from allowing The Divine within to express Itself.
There’s another important reason to strive for being our best selves: Personal happiness. I, for one, am just happier when I’m being my best self. I have few – if any – regrets that stem from moments when I was being my authentic, divine self. The few regrets I do have in my life arise from moments when I was being petty, insecure, or judgmental – certainly not traits I associate with being my best self. I‘m just happiest when I’m being comfortable with myself and expressing myself – and The Divine within – freely; I suspect you are too.
Regardless of why you’re seeking personal growth, it can seem like a daunting task. It’s easy to internalize the attitude that you’re improving yourself because you aren’t good enough as you are. Nothing could be further from the truth! Although we are each imperfect in so many interesting and delightful ways, we are divinely perfect in that imperfection. No improvement required!
I actually don’t like the term ‘self improvement.’ I don’t even like the idea of ‘self help.’ I much prefer the idea of ‘personal growth and development.’ Think of the strong and mighty oak tree. It doesn’t ‘improve’ from being an acorn. It doesn’t even help itself into an oak tree. What the acorn does is grow and develop. That oak tree is inherent to the DNA of the acorn. It is its birthright. The oak tree is the destiny of that tiny acorn.
And so it is with us.
We don’t really need to change or improve. We need to grow and develop. To continue with the plant life metaphors, we blossom from a tightly closed bud into a gorgeous, fragrant rose. Again, the bud doesn’t ‘improve’ into a rose; it merely follows the path of its destiny. In order to be our best selves, we need to find the path of our own destiny and pursue it with all our heart.
I don’t mean the destiny of a vocation or avocation. Rather, I mean the destiny of whom – not what – you are meant to be. For example, I know from years of soul searching that I’m meant to be connected and of service. I’m meant to share myself as wholeheartedly as I can. That’s where my happiness lies. While that specific combination of traits may be more in alignment with some career paths than others, as long as I am true to myself, I could probably be happy doing anything.
And so I try to be connected. My husband says I can make a new best friend everywhere I go. I truly value the friendly relationships I have with the barista at Starbucks, the cashier at the grocery store, and the servers at our favorite restaurant. I look people in the eye and I try to call them by name.
I try to be of service. I have almost always worked in customer service type positions, from DMV clerk to assistant manager of a specialty clothing store to the Executive Director of a battered women’s shelter where I worked daily with the residents. I try to go the extra mile. Not because I’m a harder worker than the person next to me, but because it truly makes me happy to contribute to the ease and happiness of another.
CIndy Jones Lantier