1. Listen to the chatter of your toddler or preschooler.
Why? You’re making deposits and building rapport.
Kids will only talk to you if they feel like you’ll listen,
especially when they get older. Focused attention,
eye contact, and thoughtful responses now mean a
child who feels she can open up to you later.
Often we
want to sit our kids down face-to-face and have a
deep, meaningful conversation, but many children
are more likely to open up when you’re either busy
doing something together, such as playing ball or
watching a show, or if you’re not making direct eye
contact, such as when you are in a car. Sometimes
a face-to-face chat is great, but other times it
can cause a child to clam up, especially if the tone
or body language is off. If you want your child
to communicate more, create opportunities for
conversation while you are side by side and engaged
in something.
2. Engage in side-by-side conversations.
Parents can be quick
to dish out advice or even criticism, but be careful
with your words. If children feel that you’re going
to be judgmental, they may look for a peer to confide
in in stead. Of course, children need our guidance
even when they aren’t asking for it and don’t want
it, but it’s best to be a great listener first. You’ll be
able to feel if your child is currently open to hearing
your hard-earned wisdom or if they may need a little
time. When you do give advice, try not to lecture.
Keep it short, and end with showing faith in your
child to do what’s right.
3. Hold your tongue – at first.
18