Run / Jump / Walk on Life !
There ’ s talk coming through the media on the next Commonwealth Games and it got me thinking about running . I have looked carefully at some of the running events and wondered which is the most useful and try as I might I can only see the 100 yards hurdles being of any use in everyday life . I ’ m using yards because I ’ ve not had much of a need to run in metres personally since school sports day .
There ’ s not a lot of call to run 26 miles unless you decide to run to work from Ripley to Sheffield using the M1 which is a bit ridiculous not to say dangerous . Or even doing half of that , there doesn ’ t seem a lot of point , but the 100 metre hurdles has got quite a bit in its favour . If you need the toilet urgently whilst out gardening , then a fast sprint leaping over the sleeping cat , dodging the hosepipe , over the doorstep and up the stairs is a definite
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* Price based on 5 Day Lifestyle Membership Package advantage if you ’ ve trained hard enough for it . What if you are late for the bus ? You can see it coming over your shoulder and the bus stop is 50 yards away , then a sprint is a plus point , or it could be because nine times out of ten when you get to the bus stop the driver will just pretend he hasn ’ t seen you and keep on driving thinking ,“ If he can run that fast he doesn ’ t need the bus !”
The ‘ dash ’ is alwsy useful when you see the traffic warden approaching your car after 29 minutes - first one there wins the prize .
A Running Jump
Running down the beach and leaping into the water was always high on my holiday agenda , but running like mad with a hop skip and a jump into a sand pit landing on my bum filling it full of sand has never held an attraction . Put a huge body of water at the other end as an incentive and I ’ ll give it a try .
Talking of jumping , who can jump the highest seems to have got a lot easier over the years . When we did the Fosbury Flop , jumping higher wasn ’ t any advantage as when you came down you landed , on a thin mat which did very little to stop every bone in your body being jarred . The Grammer school kids had thicker mats . Thick mats for clever kids , thin mats for us thick kids ! Not fair . We shared the mat with those coming to land from the pole vault and just landed full stop with no bounce , if both events took place simultaneously you were in deep trouble . Today when they go over the bar they come down onto a mattress that ’ s as least as high as they had just jumped . Very soon a butler will walk on and serve iced drinks to the poor little frail lamb who has just landed , from a frighteningly high eighteen inches , onto a Tempur mattress .
Walking the Dog
How far can you throw a ball ? Spinning around and throwing a big cannonball never really caught my eye . I ’ ve notice that people who walk their dogs can ’ t even be bothered to throw a ball for them anymore , they just stand still , load the ball in a slingshot , and then lob it . I always thought that when some said ‘ I ’ m taking the dog for a walk ’, that ’ s what they meant . Mind you it would be less effort if the dog was getting old to keep hold of the ball and just lob the dog to save it the effort of running . That ’ s a bad joke by the way .
There are two race / walking distances contested at the Summer Olympics : the 20 kilometres race walk ( men and women ) and 50 kilometres race walk , both of which it seems to me will keep the NHS going in replacement hips for years to come . These demand that one foot remains on the floor at all times , a bit like snooker but with a lot more effort and less chalk . That kind of walking is normally saved for the post office opening at 9am on Tuesday before they run out of money ! Sadly this walk will end one day as everything will be online banking . So there ’ s another exercise opportunity gone .
Maybe watching ‘ The Games ’ is a no for me . I ’ ll just stick to watching twenty-two men kicking a bag of wind around a field hoping that it hits a net . I ’ d have a go at that for 330k a week .
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