Cosmopolitan June 2018 - Page 89

YOU SAY SL * T LIKE
IT ’ S A BAD THING ... In her book and Viceland show , both titled Slutever , Karley Sciortino defines a sl * t as anyone who wants to have fire sex on their own terms or , as she writes , “ a person who seeks out visceral experiences through sex ”. In order to strip the word of its harsh stigma , Karley says people need to use it more often in a positive context . ( See Amber Rose ’ s annual nonprofit activism event , SlutWalk .) “ We ’ re on our way towards a movement to reclaim the word ,” says Zhana Vrangalova , PhD . Eff yes , ladies .
The Rules You Must Follow
Make sure your hookup motivation revolves around your own pleasure ... versus a drive to make someone want you more or because it seems like everyone else is doing it .
Use protection every single time with every single partner . Always .
Let your partner know you ’ re sleeping with other people , and make sure to share your latest STI results with each other too .

BOW OUT LIKE A CLASS ACT

IF SOMETHING SHIFTS IN YOUR CASUAL ARRANGEMENT , YOU NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS CONVO . FOLLOW THESE SCRIPTS FOR WHEN ...
... YOU WANT A CLEAN BREAK
You ’ ve had your good times , but you ’ re either ready to get serious with someone else or don ’ t want to continue . WHAT TO SAY : ‘ This was so much fun , but I ’ m not in a place where I want to keep things going .’ WHY IT WORKS : You ’ re offering up a positive , but also being clear . If you ’ re cool with staying friends , say so , but don ’ t promise anything you don ’ t really mean .
... YOU ’ RE CATCHING FEELINGS
Bring it up when you ’ re not between the sheets , suggests Dossie Easton , co-author of The Ethical Slut . You won ’ t feel as vulnerable ( and , um , you won ’ t be naked ). WHAT TO SAY : ‘ I know we agreed to keep things casual , but I ’ m actually starting to have feelings for you .”
Quick , Easy , and Fun Sex Moves
WHY IT WORKS : You ’ re acknowledging your deal and the fact that you ’ re also a human who emotes . It ’ s not a declaration of love . And if sleeping with them now feels loaded , you ’ ve just given yourself an out ... or the opportunity for them to consider getting more serious .
... THEY WANT SOMETHING MORE
Don ’ t ignore the signs , like when they make references to future plans or ask you to meet their friends . Pipe up and be honest that you ’ re not on the same page , says Karley . WHAT TO SAY : “ I really enjoy hanging out with you , but I don ’ t want a relationship right now .” WHY IT WORKS : You may be hurting their feelings in the short term , but you ’ re also protecting them from future heartbreak . And if they keep seeing you under the delusion that you might change your mind , then it ’ s their problem .
With a one-night stand , use your best judgment and common sense . Text a friend to let her know where you are ( at your place or your date ’ s ).
Know that staying the night is a privilege , not an expectation . So is next-day coffee .
Unlike in Pretty Woman , making out during the deed does not mean you ’ re headed toward love . It means you want to have good sex .
THE BATHROOM BANG Sit on the sink or counter , and straddle his hips while he stands facing you . The angle gives you great G-spot love , and neither of you needs to get fully undressed .
THE FRIENDLY FLING In missionary , move both legs to the left side of his chest so your feet are next to his left ear . This creates crazy-tight friction that doesn ’ t feel casual . At . All .
THE ‘ DON ’ T CALL ME ’ DOGGIE Stand near the edge of the bed , and lean over with your booty in the air so he can enter you from behind . Rear entry allows for free hands to rub everywhere else .
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES , VISIT COSMO . IN JUNE 2018 COSMOPOLITAN 89
YOU SAY SL*T LIKE IT’S A BAD THING... In her book and Viceland show, both titled Slutever, Karley Sciortino defines a sl*t as anyone who wants to have fire sex on their own terms or, as she writes, “a person who seeks out visceral experiences through sex”. In order to strip the word of its harsh stigma, Karley says people need to use it more often in a positive context. (See Amber Rose’s annual nonprofit activism event, SlutWalk.) “We’re on our way towards a movement to reclaim the word,” says Zhana Vrangalova, PhD. Eff yes, ladies. The Rules You Must Follow Make sure your hookup motivation revolves around your own pleasure...versus a drive to make someone want you more or because it seems like everyone else is doing it. Use protection every single time with every single partner. Always. Let your partner know you’re sleeping with other people, and make sure to share your latest STI results with each other too. With a one-night stand, use your best judgment and common sense. Text a friend to let her know where you are (at your place or your date’s). Know that staying the night is a privilege, not an expectation. So is next-day coffee. Unlike in Pretty Woman, making out during the deed does not mean you’re headed toward love. It means you want to have good sex. BOW OUT LIKE A CLASS ACT IF SOMETHING SHIFTS IN YOUR CASUAL ARRANGEMENT, YOU NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS CONVO. FOLLOW THESE SCRIPTS FOR WHEN... ...YOU WANT A CLEAN BREAK You’ve had your good times, but you’re either ready to get serious with someone else or don’t want to continue. WHAT TO SAY: ‘This was so much fun, but I’m not in a place where I want to keep things going.’ WHY IT WORKS: You’re offering up a positive, but also being clear. If you’re cool with staying friends, say so, but don’t promise anything you don’t really mean. ...YOU’RE CATCHING FEELINGS Bring it up when you’re not between the sheets, suggests Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut. You won’t feel as vulnerable (and, um, you won’t be naked). WHAT TO SAY: ‘I know we agreed to keep things casual, but I’m actually starting to have feelings for you.” WHY IT WORKS: You’re acknowledging your deal and the fact that you’re also a human who emotes. It’s not a declaration of love. And if sleeping with them now feels loaded, you’ve just given yourself an out...or the opportunity for them to consider getting more serious. ...THEY WANT SOMETHING MORE Don’t ignore the signs, like when they make references to future plans or ask you to meet their friends. Pipe up and be honest ѡЁ׊eɔЁѡͅ)́ͅ-ɱ)]!PQ