Cosmopolitan June 2018 - Page 88

love & lust CASUAL SEX PROS Consensual boning without commitment—whether it’s with a one-night stand, a several-nights stand, or an FWB set-up—can transform your sex life. “It’s an amazing form of self-exploration,” says Karley. In fact, a 2014 study found that those who are cool with agreed-upon no-strings sex report lower stress and greater overall well-being after a hookup. Talk about benefits! And getting it on sans long-term ties can be a great way to test the boundaries of your sexuality and discover new turn-ons, tricks, and ways to orgasm. If both of you are into trying out different fantasies, great! If not, NBD...it’s not like you need to be compatible in the bedroom for the long haul. Your assertiveness between the sheets will probably get a boost too. “Casual sex helped me become more confident, more self-sufficient, and more communicative,” says Garima*, 31. “I now know that I consistently want dudes to go down on me first before anything else. I’ve also learned that I’m not into dirty talk.” CONS Having consensual casual sex can take you on an emotional rollercoaster—one you don’t have much control over. Biologically speaking, genital stimulation and orgasm cause a rise in dopamine and oxytocin. These neurotransmitters encourage bonding and can create a warm, romantic fondness for your bedroom buddy. “If you really don’t want to have any of these feelings, you might have to question if casual sex is a behaviour you want to be engaging in,” says Justin. Of course, there are also super-important safety concerns. “I’m always cautious about saying that you’re putting yourself at a higher risk for STIs in a hookup, because any sexual behaviour puts you at risk,” says Justin. However, more partners do equal more exposure to potential infections. You can mitigate this by always being forthright about the fact that you’re sleeping with other people. As Mohita*, 33, says, “I want to be thoughtful towards the people I’m with. I’m up-front and honest, and I always use protection.” 88 COSMOPOLITAN JUNE 2018 92 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN percent of single people agree that birth control or condoms must be used in a non-committed hookup situation. Source: Match’s eighth annual Singles in America survey