Cosmopolitan August 2018 - Page 94

love & lust Would You Give Up Sex For Love? Are you ready to lock up your lust indefinitely? Here’s all you need to know. By Faye Brennan and Jessica Goodman M iranda Kerr. Ciara. Nicki Minaj. Ashley Graham. Mariah Carey. These celebs have all, at one time or another, admitted to RSVP’ing ‘No’ to sex—even if they’ve said ‘Oh, yes’ in the past. They’re among a growing group of women who are (re)saving themselves for marriage or (re)choosing celibacy, says sex therapist Chantelle Otten, who sees more clients—women and men— taking this path. So-called born-again virgins may have religious motivations, or they could be trying to replace negative sexual experiences with more positive ones, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First. Others are trying out a new tactic in the search for lasting love. “We live in a culture where sex is often recreational as opposed to relational,” says Ian. “Many people are trying to instill it with a deeper sense of meaning or connection.” Still others are taking a breather in favour of more me-time. Question is, will their celibacy experiment pay off? “You’ve heard the saying, ‘To get over someone, get under someone’, right? Well, that’s how I dealt with all my breakups,” says Jasmine, 27. She chose the born-again virgin route after a particularly tough split, when she realised she needed to reconnect with who she was as an individual. Rather 000 COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST 2018 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN CALLING A TIME-OUT