Cosmopolitan August 2018 - Page 108

you, you, you Ask Cosmo Anything From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back. Q . I can tell my boyfriend is worried that I may cheat on him at an upcoming bachelorette party. How can I get him to trust me more? A: When you say ‘I can tell’, that signals to us that you haven’t told each other how you’re feeling. Men need clear lines to be established just as much as women do— especially when it comes to awkward or emotionally charged subjects. Start a clarifying convo with: ‘It seems like you’ve been a little anxious about this party, and I might feel the same way if the roles were flipped. I want you to know that I’m committed to you and I’d never fool around.’ It should put his mind to ease. genuine effort to get to know you better (as in, asking questions rather than talking about himself), that’s the best sign he wants more of you. But honestly, some dates go perfectly well, and men only decide afterwards that the connection wasn’t enough. You probably aren’t missing any signs—these guys aren’t showing their true colours up front. Q: I’m so curious: do men ever talk to each other in public restrooms like women do? A: In general? No. Men typically use the bathroom for its intended purpose— although they do respect how most women use it as a clubhouse, a dressing room, group therapy, or a crisis-response headquarters. If they do chat in the men’s room, they might say something to another guy like, ‘Dude, I see what’s happening. Don’t get back together with her— seriously,’ or ‘Yo, is her friend single?’. Q: I’m going to be in a vacay house with my friends, my ex (we 108 COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST 2018 Cargo pants, as seen at Dsquared2, Versus, Emporio Armani, and Chloé have mutual pals), and his new GF. What can I do to show I’m chill and totally over him? A: Your ex is surely hoping for a low-stress, no-drama vacation too. A well-adjusted guy wouldn’t bring his new girl if he thought the experience (or you) would be a hot mess. He’s moved on, and if he does have any lingering feelings, he’s not going to air them with her on his arm. That said, if you want to prove you’ve moved on too, then act that way. Avoid making your ex the focus of your attention, behave like you would around anyone else, and have a good time with your friends. Talking about how chill you are, avoiding your ex and his new girl entirely, or bringing home a different dude every night to prove you’re over him....that’s definitely unchill. Q: My husband asked me to go to an important work event with him, but I bailed. He’s been distant ever since. Help! A: When men are hurt, their usual MO is to tough it out (or shut down) rather than FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN expose their vulnerability. So, apologise sincerely for missing out on his event, then ask how he feels and how you can better handle situations like this in the future. Q: The ’90s were big on cargo pants; I see that they’re back. How can I ace it without looking like I’m going for a safari? A: Thanks to the fashion world’s obsession with the ’90s, cargo pants have become the new boyfriend jeans. They may have gotten a bad rap in the past, but 2018’s got some pretty rad options. If you want to stick to the kh