Cosmopolitan August 2018 - Page 104

you, you, you YOU THINK YOU’RE STRESSED BUT YOU COULD BE... 4 OVERWHELMED ANXIOUS Stress comes from While stress is a lack of resources about the here and (like time and the now, anxiety is money). Being future-focused. overwhelmed Setting aside 15 means you need to minutes each night say no to things. for ‘worry time’ can help decrease it. THE NAME GAME THREE EMOTIONS YOU MAY BE GETTING WRONG YOU THINK YOU’RE ASHAMED BUT YOU COULD BE... GUILTY Shame is about your fundamental self-worth, while guilt is about something you did. Erase it by saying sorry and making amends. HUMILIATED Humiliation stems from feeling lousy about yourself because you think others are judging you. Use positive self-talk to let it go. YOU THINK YOU’RE ANGRY BUT YOU COULD BE... ANNOYED This is a milder emotion with a simple solve. Instead of lashing out, leave the sitch. It may be your ’tude that needs adjusting. FRUSTRATED Anger is an intense response, usually to a perceived injustice. Frustration is more about hitting a road block. feeling your emotions helps you move through them faster,” says sociologist Christine Carter, author of The Sweet Spot. “When you deny or repress them, you are actually amplifying them.” 3 CONNECT YOUR FEELS “Most emotions are trying to tell you something,” says Susan. To figure out what, try linking the feeling to your personal values. For example, if you feel nagging guilt, it could be that deep down you know you’re not being present for your mum during a health scare, yet family is super-important to you. Recognising emotions and the data they contain will help you take appropriate action. 104 COSMOPOLITAN JUNE 2018 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN EXPRESS YO’SELF When your feelings involve other people, let them know “assertively, directly and honestly,” says Tony (if you’re afraid of how someone will react, spill your guts in a letter). This might mean apologising to bae for being MIA, then booking a romantic trip. Or admitting you’ve been jealous of his work wife and that it makes you feel insecure when he texts her. Or letting your boss know that you want a new challenge at work, then volunteering for a big project “Emotions connect people,” says Tony. “If you’re not sharing yours, you’re not going to have a good connection with others.” If the issue is more personal— maybe you’re mad at yourself for procrastinating on that novel you’ve always wanted to write—your best release will come from dishing to a close friend or noting your frustrations in your journal. Of course, not every emotion has an easy solve. “Getting over trauma or major grief, for example, may require extra help from a therapist, who can provide effective coping n strategies,” says Tony.