Connections Jan 2015 - Page 40

thirty pounds. She has perfect perky “C” cups and legs that go on for miles. Her hair is light brown and wavy. She isn’t Angelina Jolie beautiful but damn near it. Her skin is smooth as a baby’s ass. Her teeth are perfect, not that they have always been that way. My parents paid good money for her to have teeth that perfect. Okay, here I’m being unfair. My teeth and complexion are just as perfect as hers are. God really blessed us with acne-free skin. “Stop it. You know that isn’t so. Okay, I’ll admit that you’re a little overweight…” Only your sister would willingly say something like that to you face-to-face, or, well, phone-to-phone. If she were here, it would be face-to-face; I’ve no doubt. The bitch has no qualms about calling things as she sees them. I still love her. “A little, my ass,” I snapped, wanting to be the one who calls me fat. I can handle facing my weight problem if I’m the one who brings it up. “I won’t even tell you how much weight I’ve gained in the last two years.” “That’s no one’s fault but your own.” My honest, bitch of sister, everyone. Give it up for her. She holds nothing back; my feelings be damned. “You keep yourself locked in your house with no source of exercise at all. Losing the weight you’ve gained wouldn’t take much, if you try. You don’t even attempt to walk pass your mailbox three times a week. You sit in front of a computer twenty-four-seven. Of course, you’re going to be out of shape and overweight.” The thing is that I can’t even get mad at her. That’s a lie, I can, and I wanted to snatch her scrawny ass through the phone and strangle her, so I kept reminding myself that I love my sister. I do. I love her. Really. But it isn’t as if she is wrong. “Says the person with three kids who only weighs one hundred and ten pounds,” I interrupted her, undershooting her weight because I knew it would annoy her and distract her from discussing my weight. “Exaggerate much? I weigh more than that, and you and I both know it. Besides, if you had my kids, you’d weigh nothing as well. All I do is chase them around the house. When I do get time to sit and eat, there is always someone wanting a bite of what I’m eating. I don’t see how any mother of three is overweight.”