Nurturin g ou r C o nn e cti o n s
At the tender age of sixteen I stepped onto a
Greyhound bus to move 2000km away from
home. I was so ready for excitement and
adventure and looking forward to moving from
one side of Australia to the other. My mother
slipped one hundred dollars in my hand, and
imparted what she believed were three pieces
of wisdom:
“Don’t wear make-up. Don’t bleach your hair.
Don’t get pregnant!”
Needless to say I explored all three taboos, and
lived to tell the tale.
As I write, my first-born daughter is preparing
to leave for university at the Autumnal Equinox.
I’ve ensured that she has everything she needs:
A pantry full of healthy organic food staples,
bedding, essential oils for cleaning, plant-based
soaps, a year’s worth of fluoride-free toothpaste,
eco-shampoos, and more.
(he worked overseas for months at a time) has
left a wounded, abandoned place in my heart. I
have never mastered goodbyes. Although I said
a final goodbye to my dad two years ago, when
he was killed in a car crash, I wonder if I have
the same strength to say goodbye as my little
chick leaves the nest? But if I’ve learnt anything
about grief, it is this: the depth of pain we feel
at separation is proportionate to the amount
of love we have shared with the one we are
mourning: it is a mirror of our connection.
I’ve been shedding tears for several weeks now.
It’s all part of the letting go process.
Our connection is strong. I’ve been a stay-athome mother for 18 years, and 17 of those were
spent as a home-educating family. We are close.
We are connected. I trust that will transcend
time and space.
Written by Veronika Sophia Robinson
But there are three things I have yet to give her. I
keep remembering my mother’s three pieces of
advice, and although it might seem ironic to want
to replicate this mother-to-daughter connection
38
given my ability to break taboos, I feel strongly
about imparting wisdom. My hands-on days of
mothering her are all but over, and yet I want
to still nurture Bethany as she makes her way in
the world.
Veronika is the editor of Starflower Living magazine,
a monthly publication on holistic and courageous
living; the author of more than a dozen books; and
was editor of The Mother magazine from 2002
to January 2014. Veronika offers mentoring and
psychological astrology sessions by phone or in
person. She lives in rural Cumbria with her family.
www.veronikarobinson.com
A childhood of waving my father off at the airport
38