Compassionate Integrity Training Final CIT training manual 11-30 - Page 89

Compa ssionate Integrit y Tr a ining A S e cu l a r Ethic s Appr oa c h to C ulti vat ing Pe rs on al, S o ci al and E n vir on me n tal F lo u r i shing third person.) Think for a moment about how you would but also from our own perception of them. In other really feel if something wonderful happened to your close words, we see certain people as lovely (such as our friend or loved one. Imagine it and picture it in your head. family and children) because they are close to us, but are Likely, you would rejoice in their good fortune and feel they objectively more lovely than other people (such as happy. Now picture the same or a similar wonderful others’ families and children)? Or do they appear that thing happening to the stranger. As you imagine this, it way because of our close feelings for them? Similarly, is likely you will feel less joy. Finally, picture a similarly we tend to think that people we dislike have negative wonderful thing happening to the person you dislike or qualities that come completely from their side. But we find difficult. You will likely feel even less joy, perhaps no can see that they do not appear as objectionable and joy at all, or you may even feel disturbed at the thought. horrible to their own loved ones and friends. So how much of those negative qualities is in fact our own Now we can spend some time to reflect: What justifies projection, based on our feelings, and not objective? The these three different reactions to the same event? We psychologist Aaron Beck, father of Cognitive Therapy, seem to care more about the happiness of those we are has famously said that when we are angry with someone, close to and not much about the happiness of those we dislike. Is this because they actually deserve happiness to different degrees, or is it a result of our own preference and bias toward them? Upon examination, we can easily see from our own experience how friends can become 90% of the negative qualities we attribute to them are nothing more than our own projection. Dr. Beck sees the root of anger and hostility among people as largely coming from these exaggerated beliefs. 60 This has clear implications for understanding both small-scale interper- enemies, enemies become friends, and strangers become sonal conflicts as well as large scale conflicts that are both enemies and friends. Although the individuals we supported by enemy images. 61 place in these categories change throughout our life, their placement completely affects how we relate to them. While reducing bias is essential for allowing our These categories are no different than any category of compassion to extend outward in ever-increasing circles, people we create, whether it is based on race, ethnicity, we are in fact the first to benefit from this practice. political views, gender, etc. These categories are superficial Reducing bias and recognizing common humanity and changeable and do not define any particular essence makes us feel closer to others and a part of the whole of all members of that category. The categories may be human community. We gradually recognize that the relevant (it could be probl •΅…Ρ₯ŒΡΌ΅₯ΝΡ…­”…Έ•Ή•΅δΝΥΑ•Ι™₯₯…°‘₯™™•Ι•Ή•ΜΡ‘…Ё΅…‘”½Ρ‘•Ί™••°ΝΌ‘₯™™•Ι•ΉΠ)™½Θ„™Ι₯•Ή€°‰ΥЁё”­•δΑ½₯ΉΠ‘•Ι”₯́ё…Ёё”‘₯™™•Ι•Ή•ΜΡΌ½ΥΙΝ•±Ω•Μ…Ι”₯Έ™…Π΅₯Ή½Θ½΅Α…Ι•ΡΌέ‘…Ёݔ)Ή••Ή½Π±•…ΡΌ„‰₯…́ё…Ё͕•Μ„Α•ΙΝ½Έ½ΘΙ½Υΐ½˜‘…Ω”₯Έ½΅΅½ΈΈQ‘₯́Α…ٕ́ё”έ…䁙½Θ•΅Α…Ρ‘₯ι₯Ήœ)Α•½Α±”…́±•Ν͕ȁё…Έ½Ρ‘•ΙΜΈέ₯Ρ ½Ρ‘•Ί…Ή•αΑ•Ι₯•Ή₯ΉœΝ½±₯‘…Ι₯Ρδέ₯Ρ Α•½Α±”)QέΌΙ₯Ρ₯…°₯ΉΝ₯‘Ρ́ё…Ё΅…䁕΅•Ι”™Ι½΄‘½₯ΉœΡ‘₯Μ)ΑΙ…Ρ₯”…Ι”…́™½±±½έΜΈ₯ΙΝΠ°έ”΅…䁍½΅”ΡΌΙ•…±₯ι”)Ρ‘…Ёё”ΕΥ…±₯Ρ₯•Μέ”…ΡΡΙ₯‰ΥΡ”ΡΌ½Ρ‘•ΙΜƒŠL‰½Ρ Α½Ν₯Ρ₯Ω”)…ΉΉ•…Ρ₯Ω”ƒŠL½΅”Ή½Π•ΉΡ₯Ι•±δ™Ι½΄Ρ‘•₯ȁ½έΈΝ₯‘”°)…Ι½ΥΉΡ‘”έ½Ι±…ΉΡ‘½Ν”έ‘Ό΅…䁉”±₯Ω₯ΉœΉ•αΠ)‘½½ΘΈQ‘…Ё͕ΉΝ”½˜½ΉΉ•Ρ₯½Έ°έ‘₯ ₯́ё”Ω•Ιδ)½ΑΑ½Ν₯Ρ”½˜±½Ή•±₯Ή•Ν́…Ή₯Ν½±…Ρ₯½Έ°₯́„Ι•…Ё½ΉΡΙ₯‰ΥΡ½Θ)ΡΌ½Υȁݕ±°΅‰•₯Ήœ…Ή‘…ΑΑ₯Ή•ΝΜΈ) ”ΈΠ”Θ™½Θ ½΅Α„ΜΝ₯½Έ°$ΈΡ•œΘ€Πδ„ΉL”Τ°…ȁΠ‘₯Μπ0₯™”UΉ€Ω”ΙΝ€Πδπ4…ȁ₯”ΠΡ„°”½Θœ€„(΄€ΰΜ€΄