Compassionate Integrity Training CIT-Faciltator-Guide-2.1-Final | Page 27

C OMPASSIONATE I NTEGRITY T RAINING
A S ECULAR E THICS A PPROACH TO C ULTIVATING P ERSONAL , S OCIAL AND E NVIRONMENTAL F LOURISHING
M INDFUL D IALOGUES
In today’s hectic world, filled with increasing distractions, we rarely take the time to engage in meaningful,
uninterrupted conversations. The best conversations allow us to connect deeply with others around subjects
that matter, helping us explore our thoughts, feelings and emotions in a safe space while being present for
another to do the same. Because these opportunities are so rare, yet so important, Mindful Dialogues can be
a vital component of Compassionate Integrity Training . In order to facilitate generative conversations and
create safe space, explain to participants that there are some basic rules for the dialogues.
When it is their turn to listen, participants should:
1. Be totally present for the other person. We rarely have someone’s undivided attention during a
conversation. It is a gift. This presence can manifest through maintaining eye contact and verbal and
nonverbal gestures that let your partner know that you are following what they are saying. Please turn
off any electronic devices to prevent unexpected distractions and interruptions.
2. Try not to ask questions. Although we are not always conscious of it, questions have a tendency to drive
a conversation in the direction the questioner wants it to go, rather than where the responder wants to
take it. If you feel you must ask a question, make it something like, “Is there anything more you would
like to add?”
3. Try not to give advice. The purpose of these conversations is to allow your partner to vocalize important
experiences or insights, and to have someone honor them. Often, when one is listening to another,
instead of truly listening, they are thinking of what advice they could give to help guide the other person.
While this urge can be motivated by compassion, it also interferes with your ability to actually be fully
present to what the person is saying.
4. Keep everything your partner says in total confidence. Nothing creates safe space more effectively than
trust. Knowing that you will keep everything you hear confidential will build that trust.
After explaining these rules, make sure the participants know how much time is allocated for this exercise
and how much time each person has to speak. You can offer to let them know when the halfway point has
been reached. After the dialogues have been finished, you can invite people to share something about the
C ENTER FOR C OMPASSION , I NTEGRITY AND S ECULAR E THICS | L IFE U NIVERSITY | M ARIETTA , G EORGIA
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