COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? In Depth Guide to Approaching, Flirting and Dating | Page 80

How To: Make Small Talk
By Justin Becker
Lifestyle Correspondent - Every Wednesday
Forget about having a whole conversation with someone; the thought of
making small talk, whether it's with a date, coworker or stranger, makes your
palms sweat (in which case you want to avoid shaking the person's hand at all
costs).
And your inability to make small talk hinders your ability to approach people
in the first place. Just think about all the possibilities this eliminates. When
you're standing around with someone you're not that close to, you'd rather
look at your feet, play with your nails, and daydream about the other night
instead of forcing yourself to make small talk. But small talk can lead to big
talk, which can lead to big people, and huge opportunities.
With these tips, making small talk with anyone will no longer feel like pulling
teeth (or at least won't make you feel like poking your own eyes out). The
following are different scenarios and tips on how to keep the conversation
going -- most tips can be used in every scenario.

the first date
You and your date are sitting at a café after having seen a movie. This is always a tricky one because your small
talk should lead to interesting conversation and make a great first impression (assuming you like your date).

Ask a lot of questions
Asking your date many questions is always a safe thing to do, since not only does it help you get to know her
and provides the basis of good conversation, but asking questions is also a turn-on for women.
Questions show that you have a genuine interest in your date, as long as you show her that you also listen to her
responses (she may quiz you later, believe me).

Ask her questions that are:
Work-related: what she does; how she likes it; how long she's been working there, etc.
Family-related: what her family's like; what they do; whether they're close, etc.
Hobby-related: what she likes to do in her spare time; what she does on weekends, etc.
Pop culture-related: what kind of music she likes; what her favorite movie is; whether she liked the movie
you just saw, etc.
First-date conversation topics can be a whole article unto itself, but in a nutshell, keep the conversation light,
interesting and avoid anything philosophical, sexual and personal.

the acquaintance
You're at your best friend's engagement party, and a man who looks familiar approaches you and starts talking
to you. You just want to scope out the single women and make your way to the bar for more vodka shots, but
this guy is awkwardly standing next to you.

Talk about who you know and what you have in common
If you have common ground with a stranger, use it to your advantage. Don't take the opportunity to gossip and
bad mouth your mutual friends, rather use it in order to fill up space and maybe make a friend while you're at it.
If you're at an engagement party, for example, say how happy you are for the couple, and ask questions about
the person's relationship with the bride or groom, like how long they've known each other.
And if you know he's a member of the same golf club, talk about your drive, slice and what happened at the club
the other day.