COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? In Depth Guide to Approaching, Flirting and Dating | Page 61

who do not. Even just a few nods can significantly improve your chances, both in interviews and in flirtatious
conversation.
Another effective good-listener technique is
'paraphrasing'. To show that you are paying
attention and interested, and to encourage your
partner to tell you more, it can help if you
occasionally sum up what your partner has
said, as in "…so you were stranded at the
station with no money! How did you get
home?" This paraphrasing will be particularly
helpful if your partner seems a bit shy, insecure
or anxious, as it will make him or her feel more
confident.
You may have noticed that the question at the
end of the 'paraphrasing' example was an 'open'
question, rather than a 'closed' question
requiring only a yes or no response. If you
want to encourage your partner to talk, try to
ask more open questions, such as "What kind
of food do you like?" than closed questions
such as "Do you like Chinese food?"
If you are not sure about the difference,
remember that open questions begin with one of the following words: Who, What, When, Where, How, Why.
Journalists and personnel managers are taught to ask questions beginning with these words in interviews, to encourage
job candidates and sources to give detailed replies, but they are equally effective in informal social conversation –
particularly in flirting!

Reciprocal disclosure
One of the most important aspects of verbal flirting is what psychologists call 'reciprocal disclosure' – the exchange of
personal information. In fact, unless partners disclose
at least some personal details, t