COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? In Depth Guide to Approaching, Flirting and Dating | Page 12

3. Create Rapport
We all know that “A man convinced against his will, remains of the same opinion still ..”
That is why every sales- or hypnosis course and every article about dating will tell you that you need to start with
creating as much rapport as possible.
Only after you have created sufficiently emotional connection and trust, will your listener feel comfortable enough to
actually listen to you, and accept and emotionally respond to images that you are describing.

How to create rapport?
A/ Mirror your listener’s body language
That is: his posture, movements, breathing rhythm and physical state.
Why? Copying his behavior causes him to feel similar to you, which in
turn will lead to your listener starting to copy you in response

B/ Confirm and match your listener’s inner world.
That is: his values, perceptions, beliefs, emotions, ideas and
assumptions.
Why? when you copy your listener’s way of seeing the world (visual,
audio …), his way of expressing himself (words and expressions he
uses), repeat his values, accept him as he is and confirm him in his
beliefs and opinions, he will listen to you, accept what you are saying
and start to like you because he will see you as very similar to himself
and will appreciate the respect you show him. After all, you are
confirming him in what and how he is and what you are telling, is the
truth, such as he too perceives it.

Some useful techniques for creating rapport :
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•

•
o
o
o
o
o
o

Agree, Praise and Confirm; say what they want to hear
Overall empathic interaction
Copy patterns of speech, words and images used
Tell about similar experiences, want what they want, enjoy what they enjoy
Confide: share personal things, show trust
Tell secret dream or wish, e.g. to spend time with one you really care about
Ask for advice
Insert pauses between phrases, talk slowly, whisper
Confirm and reconfirm how similar you are, how much you have in common
Switch to personal items of conversation: life, family, earlier experiences, philosophy …
Exclaim: “it’s as if I have known you all my life!” “It’s incredible how well you understand me”
”Finally I found my soulmate!” “We must have known each other in a previous life”
Encourage feelings of disillusion and discontent with their present situation, make them feel you are or can
provide the solutions that will make them feel better and fill their need

Examples:
O.k., right, exactly my idea,
I have that same feeling all the time
I was just about to say exactly the same thing
You are great, smart, good, …
I couldn’t agree more
How would you … ? What would you do if … ?