Collin County Living Well Magazine November/December 2017 - Page 55

The Buddy System H By Rick Allen ow many of us remember as little children being told “hold my hand while we cross the street” or “don’t go out there all alone”? These words of advice will stay with us our entire lifetime. I see husbands reach for the hand of their wife when crossing a street, not so much for safety but for the purpose of subliminally suggesting “you will be fine because I am right here”. As a Boy Scout, while working on our swim- ming merit badge we were told if you ever go out into open water always follow the buddy system. There should always be someone nearby in case you get in trouble. As we grow and mature something mysteriously happens to us though. For some reason a large number of us feel as if we no longer need help (or at least are not supposed to ask for it). Society has somehow caused women to feel as if they should be independent and strong willed. As men, we develop the idea that we are never supposed to ask for directions or read instructions. I can personally attest to the fact that this is not accurate as I can easily become lost in a shopping mall and have the most difficult of times assembling even simple items. When something bad hap- pens in our lives we naturally tend to want to shut down and isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. This is your mind’s defense system kicking into action. It is similar to an ostrich burying its’ head in the sand to hide. Everyone sees the ostrich, but since he cannot see them they must not exist. We all know how off base that theory is, but believe if we hide our grief and sorrow; no one will know we hurt. This is terribly unhealthy as grief shared is grief diminished. Grief not acknowledged will only grow and ultimately lead to depression which will in turn manifest into a number of other unhealthy conditions. When we learn of another person’s loss, we instinctively feel the need to do something to help ease their pain. The problem with grief is that most people feel awkward and unprepared in how to go about helping. The worst thing we can do is to avoid that person because of our own lack of confidence. This causes the person who is grieving to believe something is wrong with them for feeling sad. This feeling tends to cause the grieving person to want to rush through any type of memorial for the one who has died. Some people will try to avoid any acknowledgement that death has occurred at all in an attempt to get their life back to normal 2V6ǒ276&RFBWfW"V2&RЦ6W6RFRw&WfrW'6( 2ƖfR6B&RFR6Rv2FW&Rvv2&RfBvW&RFRW'6vFV@&WfW6ǒ67WVBVFVB&W7VBf"w&WfpW'62FRf6Rbw&Vc&V66ƖFvVFPw&WfrW'6666WBFBFV"ƖfRv&RFffW&V@&V6W6RbFR72'WBFBFffW&VBƖfRv&RFWfRG'VǒVVBF26B&R&V6VBRगB2'FBF&RFR'VFGf"6VRv27@6VRFWfRW7BFVƖrFBW'6R&R6''f FV"726VF"f"6fW'6FFRRFpWfW'W'6v27B6VRvG2FFƲ&W@2FRW'6v2FVBrFVFFVFR7F'bFBW'6vF22vrFVFVǐ6vVFvRFBFRW'62vW"W&RBF2vvVFǒfRFVF&VvFRFV6RbFV"w&VbआVFBW'6fBFW'2v6&VFRFFV"72&RRfRg&VBv7BFV"7W6RFB6&RG&GV6VBFFRRv2W7B7BFV"7W6R@FW66&R6fVVƖw2BƗ7FVFRFW.( 07F'w&Vb7W'Bw&W2&R6w&VBv2FVW'6fRF&VvFRw&Wfr&6W72FR6F&VBFVF&V6fW'2&Vr&VBFW"VRखbRfR7B6VR66RFRV6RFB6W@FvBGFVBFfBVƖrg&vFbRp6VRv2W'Frg&FR72bfVBR&PFV"'VFGFR'VFG77FVv&VBvVf"W2W V&ǒ6W2bƖfRBv6W'fRW2vVFRVB&6V2FRvW"bVf֖ǒgVW&F2B&R&V6VBBs"SbӃ#"Rf6BFV"vV'6FRBwwrff64Ĕ4TEƗfrvVvRdT$U"DT4T$U"#pS