Coffee Shop Goss Banora Point > Kirra Beach - November 2014 | Page 14
FOCUS ON
THE FAMILY
First-Time Expectant Parents
by Suzanne Gosselin
“Everything’s going to change.”
People seemed delighted to tell us this
when they found out we were expecting
for the first time. To my husband, Kevin,
and me, these words seemed more like
an ominous warning than a wondrous
prediction The idea of such life-altering
change stirred up resistance in my
spirit. I knew things would change a
little, of course, but certainly everything
wouldn’t change.
One thing I was confident would not
change was my relationship with Kevin.
He and I met in a fairy-tale fashion one
Sunday evening (as he made my latte
at Starbucks), and our courtship and
marriage swiftly followed suit.
We both love children and were
hoping to have a family, so six months
into marriage, when we learned a
baby would be joining us, we were
overjoyed. We were also still solidly in
the honeymoon phase. Though we
had heard stories about how a baby
changes things, I stubbornly refused to
believe that pregnancy and the birth
of a child would disturb our “perfect”
marriage.
While not every couple starts a family
as soon after marriage as we did, every
couple will face their own relational
adjustments as they negotiate the
season of pregnancy and the one
following the baby’s arrival. Although
God’s plan for each couple and family
is different, my belief that absolutely
nothing would change in our marriage
was . . . well, mistaken.
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Not only were others intent on telling us
that everything would change, but they
also were fond of telling us their parental
“horror stories.” For example, they would
recount the chilling tale of their 38-hour
labor experience or Junior’s epic blowout
on the airplane.
Sleep in, they would tell us. Go to the late
movie. Look deeply into one another’s
eyes, because those days are coming
to an end . . . forever (or at least the next
18 years). Soon the most interesting thing
in your life is going to be the bodily fluids
emerging from your newborn. And before
you know it, your greatest desire won’t be
for a tropical vacation or a new car but
for an hour of uninterrupted sleep . . . or
even just a shower.
Mercifully, those days will pass, they would
continue, only to be replaced by years
on end when you’ll completely lose your
own identity (particularly in the eyes of
the child’s grandparents, formerly known
as your parents), your days will revolve
around naptime (Baby’s, not yours,
unfortunately), and all your worldly goods
will be systematically destroyed by your
little “blessing” and/or permeated by
Cheerios, raisins, or unidentifiable crumbs.
It’s enough to panic any expectant
couple. Like us, you may begin to wonder
if all your former happiness as a couple is
about to slip away.
What those well-meaning naysayers
neglect to tell you is that it’s worth it.
Let that sink in for a minute. It’s worth it.
And as you follow the development of
your little one inside the womb and plan
for the joys of welcoming him or her, you
are likely more in tune with the miraculous
nature of parenthood than those in the
throes of child rearing.
Ashley, a mother of two, says: “There is
absolutely no way –zero– that you can
understand how much you will love your
child until you have a child.”
So while things are going to change,
let me assure you that entering into the
adventure of parenthood is not the end;
it’s only the beginning. And it is so worth it.
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