Defining S+EI
Social and emotional intelligence (S+EI) is the
ability to be aware of our emotions and the
emotions and concerns of others and to use
that information to manage ourselves and our
relationships, both in the moment and over the
long term.
Early emotional intelligence (EI; sometimes written
as EQ) researchers and theorists included Peter
Salovey, John Mayer, David Caruso and Howard
Gardner, aka the father of the concept of multiple
intelligences. The concept of EI entered the public
consciousness in 1995 when Daniel Goleman
published his best-selling book, “Emotional
Intelligence.” Goleman, then a science writer for
the “New York Times,” took the concept of EI out of
the realm of academia and made it accessible to a
general audience. In addition to piquing the public’s
interest in EI, Goleman’s book sparked substantial
research; as a result, we now know that EI is a better
indicator of personal and professional success than
cognitive intelligence (IQ).
More recently, the conversation surrounding
EI has broadened to include social intelligence;
i.e., relationship management and the outward
manifestation of EI’s internal component. Perhaps
the best way to think about the concept is
through the Four-quadrant Model (shown below),
based on Daniel Goleman’s work.
Self
Awareness
Management
Other
Self
Awareness
Other
Awareness
Self
Management
Relationship
Management
The Four-quadrant Model (adapted from Daniel Goleman’s Four Quadrants of EQ).
S+EI and Coaching
Having strong S+EI supports masterful coaching.
By being aware of the emotions coming up for
us in the coaching interaction, as well as attuning
ourselves to the client’s emotional state, we can
better manage the coaching relationship. We’re
able to pick up not only on what’s being said,
but also what isn’t being said, and we’re able
to better understand and support the client’s
growth and development.
“Incorporating S+EI work
into coaching also provides
a common language—an
emotional vocabulary...”
Incorporating S+EI work into coaching also
provides a common language—an emotional
vocabulary—that can make it easier for the
coach and client to have difficult conversations.
This is particularly important for clients who
feel overwhelmed by their emotions, as well as
for clients who have been taught to repress or
discount their emotional responses. Finally, the
work of cultivating S+EI adds skills to our coaching
tool kits that make us far more effective. As
coaches, our primary interest is in helping our
clients achieve success. Given the demonstrated
importance of S+EI in shaping future success, it
follows that coaches skilled in S+EI coaching are
better able to support their clients.
Intelligence in Practice
The ICF Core Competencies call on coaches to
help our clients create awareness—of themselves,
of others and of the situations they encounter.
Awareness is also the foundation of S+EI, with
self-awareness as the starting point. After all, we
can’t be aware of the emotions others might be
experiencing if we don’t have the ability to be
aware of what we are experiencing; we also can’t
manage our emotional responses without this
awareness and understanding.
In their daily lives, all three of the clients
introduced at the beginning of this article
displayed a lack of self-awareness; as such,
this needed to be the first area of coaching
intervention. One way to increase clients’ selfCONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE >
Coaching World |
August 2013
41