Cider Mag - Dec 2013 - Page 23

issue 38 working_Layout 1 12/7/2013 1:50 PM Page 23 CIDER MAGAZINE ISSUE 36 PG 27 WWW.CIDERMAG.COM CIDER JOKES CAUTION: Please do not read unless you have a sense of humor. Thank you. A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if white runs out, I’ll drink the red. A guy at the shrink says, “Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'”. The Psychiatrist says, “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome”! “Is it common?” the guy asked. “It's not unusual” the Dr. replied. At the pub the other night I saw three heavier ladies chatting. It sounded as if they had Scottish accents, so I went over and asked, “Hello ladies, are you three lassies from Scotland?” One of them I immediately upset by this and she stated, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot, Wales!” So I politely a ??????????????????q'?e???)??????????????????????M????????t()5???????????????????????????)?????$?????????$?????)?????????????()??????????????????)M??????????????????)????????????????) ????5????????????)??????((