by talking honestly and openly about what
has happened in the past and then change
the systems that marginalise some groups
which result in poverty.
‘We have to deal with the skeletons
in the cupboard that come tumbling
out. That consciousness has to be raised,
feelings should be examined. Until it is
acknowledged we cannot go into the
future with peace’, explained Fourie who
attended Mphahlele’s homecoming
ceremony to ask for forgiveness on behalf
of her ancestors for the role they played in
the Anglo-Boer War. She said: ‘I told them
that I had spoken to my ancestors to know
why we were in this situation that we are
in, in South Africa. They said they were
deeply sorry for the hurt and pain that they
had caused through slavery, colonialism,
the Anglo-Boer War and then Apartheid.’
Fourie explained that her ancestors, and
others, ‘had come to South Africa from
Europe to flee religious persecution and
poverty. They were unable to express their
hurt and so they caused the same pain
and suffering to the people here... they
are sorry... they seek forgiveness for their
demeaning and degrading attitudes and
behaviour.’
For Fourie the Anglo-Boer War was
directly related to Apartheid, as she
explained: ‘through the fear of humiliation
from the Anglo-Boer War, Apartheid was
the way out. It was not the intention but it
was what it became. The Whites needed
to rise to the top and they did that by
oppression (Apartheid).’ The Truth and
Reconciliation Commission was the first
attempt to bring forgiveness into national
thinking. ‘We must absorb the humiliation
and violence in order to move forward but
it is not easy, it is hard to absorb, the closer
you are the more painful it is.’
In Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s book
No Future Without Forgiveness he explains
that it is important to deal with past
traumas. ‘The past, far from disappearing
or lying down and being quiet, is
embarrassingly persistent, and will return
and haunt us unless it has been dealt with
adequately. Unless we look the beast in the
eye we will find that it returns to hold us
hostage.’
Both Tutu and Mphahlele believe
that an important part of the journey of
forgiveness is to share personal stories.
‘It is important to tell your story, feel the
feelings that come up, accept them and
then make a choice of how to respond,’
says Mphahlele. ‘Vulnerable feelings
when expressed to each other have the
12
potential to establish lasting bonds and
may overcome the violence and corruption
which oppresses us all at the moment.
Domination and war have done nothing
for us in the short or long term’, Fourie
adds.
Today, South Africa still faces
inequalities and segregation but according
to the South African Reconciliation
Barometer, which measures racial and
social attitudes, a recent survey showed
that the majority of South Africans do want
a unified country. However, inequality is
the biggest barrier to reconciliation. The
survey revealed ‘less than 40 per cent of
South Africans socialise with people of
another race, while only 22 per cent of
white South Africans and a fifth of black
South Africans live in racially integrated
neighbourhoods. Just 11 per cent of white
children go to integrated schools and 15
per cent of black children.’
For the past 30 years, the number of
integrated schools in Northern Ireland has
grown dramatically. Commenting on the
visit to Hazelwood Integrated College in
Belfast, Fourie said, ‘integrated schools are
the hope for the future; through secularism
everyone is divided and living apart and
there’s no human connection or moral
compass. It is most impressive that families
of all religions come together to learn.’
According to the Northern Ireland Council
for Integrated Education, ‘In 32 years the
number of children educated in integrated
schools has grown from 28 pupils in Lagan
in 1981 to nearly 22,000 today.’ Integrated
education is a vital in building a united
community away from religious divide and
segregation.
Fourie’s faith played a fundamental
part in her journey of forgiveness. As a
Christian, she ‘cherished the memory of
Christ forgiving his murderers. Since then
I have come to understand forgiveness as
a process which involves the principled
decision to give up one’s justifiable right
to revenge. Because to accept violation is a
devaluation of the self.’ She reiterated that
‘forgiveness is part of moving from victim
to survivor to wounded healer.’ When I
spoke to her about her faith she said, the
‘root of all humans is spirituality; it is our
means of connecting with ourselves, each
other and the divine, which transcends
religion, ideology and rigid ways of seeing
the world.’
Together with Mphahlele, Fourie
has set up the Lyndi Fourie Foundation
(LFF)