We live in a time where standards are higher than ever . There is this expectation of perfection for which women strive ." We live in an age of high expectations that everything is a Kodak , or nowadays a Facebook , moment ,” says Alan Manevitz , MD , a psychiatrist with Lenox Hill Hospital in New York .
We live in a time where standards are higher than ever . There is this expectation of perfection for which women strive . " We live in an age of high expectations that everything is a Kodak , or nowadays a Facebook , moment ,” says Alan Manevitz , MD , a psychiatrist with Lenox Hill Hospital in New York . The world around us tells us what kind of parents we should be . Now is the time for moms to rid themselves of guilt that is not based on actual wrongdoing . We must set our own goals as parents according to what we know is best for our children . I once read a quote that says , " The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means you already are one ."
Here are 6 tips to help you get rid of mom guilt .
Tip 1 . Strive for progress over perfection . Progression is about the journey , the small steps you take to reach a destination . Progression allows you to celebrate the moments on the way to the goal . Perfection is an unobtainable goal that is riddled with stress . Allow yourself as a mom to relish the little moments with your children rather than only focusing on the future or the daily to do ' s .
Tip 2 : Learn when you should feel guilty and when you shouldn ' t . Distinguish legitimate guilt from feelings of inadequacy . Not all mom guilt is bad . Feeling guilty that your child is watching too much television is valid . It prompts you to make changes in her daily routine . However , there are irrational thoughts that are based on societal standards rather than what is best for our kids .
Tip 3 : Stop comparing yourself to other moms . There is always going to be the mom who appears to have it all together . She is beautiful , her children are flawless and her life seems to be in perfect order . In your mind , you pale in comparison . We have a secret for you .
Nothing is as it seems . That perfect mom has her own struggles so instead of comparing yourself to her , live your own truth as a mom .
Tip 4 . Accept that ' mommying ' is hard work . Sometimes we feel mom guilt , because we have convinced ourselves that being a parent should be easy . It is as though we are shocked by the everyday challenges of parenting . Those challenges often pull at our heart strings , causing us to feel guilt when we think we have failed . Challenges can be as small as what to feed your kids for breakfast on a busy morning to larger struggles like maintaining a family schedule that doesn ' t compromise quality time . No matter the size , the struggle is real . Give yourself grace and accept that parenting is not for the faint at heart .
Tip 5 : Stop trying to do it all . Women have mastered the art of multitasking . We wear many hats and play several roles in our personal and professional lives . We think we can do it all and become frustrated when we realize we can ' t . Look at your schedule in conjunction with your weekly goals and determine what is important . Don ' t be afraid to eliminate and / or reduce items that are more space fillers than important tasks .
Tip 6 : Get a strong support system . The first step to developing a strong support system is to remove judgmental moms from your inner circle . Relationships ridden with judgment and tension are seldom healthy for anyone involved . Surround yourself with positive moms who get it , moms who are not seeking perfection , but who aim to be the best they can be for their children . These are moms who understand that doing everything right is not what makes for happy children , but rather doing everything with love .
C E O M O M | 7