i was always taught that sex before marriage was wrong , and the desire of it was sinful ; so i always buried and repressed my sexual appetites and desires beneath the tapestry of my mind until i began to see myself as disgusting when i thought of it saw myself as impure — never told anyone when i was horny for fear of scorn or laughter not even my best friend knew of my sexual desires always kept them to myself because that ’ s what i taught proper girls did , and now i feel so backward like a harpy whose claws cut inward or a siren being killed with her own song ; sometimes i just want to break open the girl i once was , and tell her that everyone has urges for sex whether it ’ s wrong or right only heaven knows . only heaven knows Linda M . Crate