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Editor's Note
P.S. I See You
Girlfriend—before even getting into anything about this issue, I want to take a moment to appreciate YOU.
We have likely never met in person, but know that I am holding space for you. The re-launching of this magazine and creation of the Battle Babe Network (BBN) has been for you. To create a space where you are not only allowed to step fully into your power and audaciously own your authentic awesomeness, but also to create a network of women in support of women—one where you find your own way surrounded by a tribe of women finding their own way.
The movie “P.S. I Love You” has an amazingly powerful quote—and it touched my soul the first time I heard it. I can remember sobbing because I was realizing that it was time to say good-bye. Not to a person really, but it was time to say good-bye to the trauma, the hurt, the anger and the pain that had become not part but ALL of my identity. I had to answer this question: “Who the hell am I outside of losing my father to AIDS…outside of not getting along with my mom for decades…outside of losing those I loved the most…outside of gang rape and military sexual harassment…outside of losing my first husband to murder on Christmas Day…outside of ending a ten year marriage to the man I stood topless for and pledged to help heal…outside of the founder of Battling BARE…outside of ALL of that, who the hell was I?”
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the movie, allow me to give a brief synopsis before sharing the quote:
A woman meets her soul mate in this fairytale way while on a trip to Scotland. They marry and have this epic love story that ends too soon as the man dies of cancer. He wrote a series of letters to be given at various times to his beloved wife after his passing to help guide her through her grief and on to her new life that waits on the other side of her pain. Near the end of the movie, she meets up with her mother on a bridge. The mother hands her a letter. And here is the quote, shared by the mother to her daughter:
“This is the last one. There aren’t anymore coming after this. You're now going to have to see that he is really gone. So now, all alone or not, you gotta walk ahead. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too.”
Far too many of us feel completely alone in everything—even standing in a crowded room—we feel alone, misunderstood and isolated. We long for and crave the ability to be vulnerable, to feel that deep soul level connection with another human being. Yet, so many of us stay paralyzed by fear as we wait for someone else to go first.
So, here is me going first--creating this space for all of us to be vulnerable, to feel, to grow, to cry, to fall apart, to allow the old that no longer serves us fall away and to answer the question for ourselves, “Who the hell am I outside of everything I’ve been through, outside of everything I’ve become that was due to what other people thought I should be and who I thought other people thought I should be?”
Then maybe step out there and remember what is fun, joyful, easy and wonderful for ourselves—and go do more of that.
Know that I love you. I see you. I feel you. I am you and you are me. It’s time for you to step into your own audaciously authentic, powerful and awesome self. Take my hand, we are in this together.
Dear Fellow Battle Babe,
Love Always,
Ash