Caring magazine Issue 41, April 2016 | Page 17

Got a local story to share? Contact [email protected] Film review Next to Her: “Moments of affection give way to resentment” Israeli film Next to Her is partly based on writer and lead actor Liron BenShlush’s own experiences of caring for her sister. We discussed the film with Carers UK Volunteer Roxanne Hart to explore how the film resonates with her own experience of looking after her 32-year-old sister, Kelly. Next to Her explores, rather darkly, the boundaries in the relationship between Chelli (Liron Ben-Shlush) and sister Gabby, who has learning difficulties. There are times when the separation is scarcely perceptible, such as when the sisters share beds, baths and even toothbrushes. But there are long periods where the separation is striking and borders on abuse, such as when Chelli calls Gabby names or playfully holds her head under water for much too long in the bath. The film begins with Chelli trying to care for Gabby single-handedly, leaving her alone while she goes out to work. Determined to avoid sending Gabby away to residential care, Chelli is forced to place Gabby in a day centre after social services raise concerns. But it is Chelli who struggles most with the separation. When she forms a relationship with a man, Zohar, there are new roles and boundaries for her to negotiate – nowhere more evident than when she insists on bringing Gabby to sleep in the bed she shares with Zohar. Roxanne’s view: @carersuk /carersuk “Moments of extreme affection between the sisters give way to moments of great resentment. At times they were so harsh I struggled to relate at all to the feelings they were exploring. I was particularly frustrated that Chelli never even looked inside the day centre when she sent Gabby there. As if she were pushing her fears aside rather than facing them. The film shows profound differences in perceptions of disability between different cultures and societies. I certainly found the level of care Gabby receives oppressive at times, especially when I compare it to the life we have built for Kelly. It was as if Gabby wasn’t seen as an individual in her own right.” While the plot takes a twist at the end which shatters many of these assumptions – and raises fresh concerns – the film ends on an innocent, loving and playful note. As the two sisters spin each other around and play in the street, you see that even they do have to negotiate terribly difficult boundaries between power and control, love and dependency, their fondness for each other should see them through. 17