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Film review
Next to Her: “Moments of affection
give way to resentment”
Israeli film Next to Her is partly based on writer and lead actor Liron BenShlush’s own experiences of caring for her sister. We discussed the film
with Carers UK Volunteer Roxanne Hart to explore how the film resonates
with her own experience of looking after her 32-year-old sister, Kelly.
Next to Her explores, rather darkly, the
boundaries in the relationship between
Chelli (Liron Ben-Shlush) and sister Gabby,
who has learning difficulties.
There are times when the separation
is scarcely perceptible, such as when
the sisters share beds, baths and even
toothbrushes. But there are long periods
where the separation is striking and borders
on abuse, such as when Chelli calls Gabby
names or playfully holds her head under
water for much too long in the bath.
The film begins with Chelli trying to care for
Gabby single-handedly, leaving her alone
while she goes out to work. Determined to
avoid sending Gabby away to residential
care, Chelli is forced to place Gabby in a day
centre after social services raise concerns.
But it is Chelli who struggles most with the
separation. When she forms a relationship
with a man, Zohar, there are new roles and
boundaries for her to negotiate – nowhere
more evident than when she insists on
bringing Gabby to sleep in the bed she
shares with Zohar.
Roxanne’s view:
@carersuk
/carersuk
“Moments of extreme affection between
the sisters give way to moments of great
resentment. At times they were so harsh I
struggled to relate at all to the feelings they
were exploring.
I was particularly frustrated that Chelli never
even looked inside the day centre when she
sent Gabby there. As if she were pushing her
fears aside rather than facing them.
The film shows profound differences in
perceptions of disability between different
cultures and societies. I certainly found the
level of care Gabby receives oppressive at
times, especially when I compare it to the
life we have built for Kelly. It was as if Gabby
wasn’t seen as an individual in her own right.”
While the plot takes a twist at the end which
shatters many of these assumptions – and
raises fresh concerns – the film ends on an
innocent, loving and playful note. As the two
sisters spin each other around and play in
the street, you see that even they do have
to negotiate terribly difficult boundaries
between power and control, love and
dependency, their fondness for each other
should see them through.
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