Canadian Musician - July/August 2020 | Page 27

BASS Kim Carson is the bass player for punk rock band Like A Motorcycle. Kim enjoys making collages and hanging out with her dog Jimmy. www.likeamotorcycle.com. By Kim Carson How to Not Get Electrocuted in a Dive Bar Playing a show in a dive bar can be the best experience of your life. It’s hot and sweaty, there’s often no stage, and your eardrums may feel like they’re bleeding. Gear, beer, and people will be all over the place and you will feel truly alive; however, this exhilarating moment in your life can be hazardous due to the shoddy electricity in old buildings and decrepit basements. As someone who has been electrocuted more than once in a dive bar, (I’ve singed my lips and once I couldn’t feel my arms after a shock came from both my mic and my bass guitar), here are a few simple rules to follow*. 1. Keep 1 in. Between Lips & Mic at All Times If you have a hard time staying away from the mic, bring a mudder (foam mic cover), or if you’re wearing a toque, take it off and place it over the microphone. 2. If Water on Stage/Floor Exceeds 1 in., Abandon Ship! Especially with no stage, liquid can collect on the floor – beer, water, whisky, and sweat – and your risk of electrocution is greater when you’re standing in a puddle. Wearing rubber-soled shoes can help, but it’s not a failsafe! 3. Don’t Plug in Your Phone Charge your phone at home. It’s impossible to avoid all the outlets, but do your best. Using outlets of any kind in a dive bar can result in electrocution, and you’re probably not going to get any reception down there anyway so don’t worry about it. 4. Avoid Bandmate Trying to Pour Full Beer on You My bandmates love spitting/pouring/ feeding me beer on stage. This adds to the puddle underneath you and again increases your risk of electrocution. Maybe have a talk with your band before the show about throwing some thing else at each other. 5. Forego Using Pedals (No one can tell anyway…) Pedals are just one more thing that need to be plugged into an outlet and will be covered in beer, water, and whisky very early into your set. Just forget about them for this one. *Following these steps does not guarantee you will not be electrocuted. CANADIAN MUSICIAN 27