r
e
n
e
d
r
Ga
the
and I
Prior to 2009, I didn’t know Jesus... but I would say my life
was “good.” I loved being a mom to my two kids who were
born 14 months apart. I loved being married to my hus-
band Mike, and things around the house were status-quo.
Life was good. The problem with good is that it’s founda-
tion rested on my thoughts and perceptions. Although life
on the outside appeared put together, I was relying on inner
strength and resolve as I managed life. And that self-pow-
ered strength was about to be put to the test. Something
happened in my life outside of my control that challenged
my weak foundation and I crumbled. I tried to handle ev-
erything, or rather control my external environments, in my
own human strength. I had an unrelenting inner tension that
left me with anxiety, heart palpitations and other shifting ail-
ments.
The beautiful thing about God is that He is working even
when you don’t realize it. As my body was telling me I need-
ed something more, God was putting pieces together all
around me and directing my steps. I can look back now and
see how the Lord was planting His garden and watching it
grow.
The Gardener’s Plan
My husband’s mom started coming to Calvary Church and
asked to bring my seven-year old daughter, Paige, because
she thought she would like the music. God was working
through Mike’s mom by encouraging us to come hear Jim,
our friend from high school, preach and enjoy the wonderful
music. God was preparing my soil and seeds were being
cast.
The Seed was Cast
We happened to run into Pastor Jim and Lisa at a local ice
cream shop. We caught up for a bit, said he was back in
town pastoring at Calvary, and when we parted ways Jim
said, “I am praying for you.” As we walked away, I thought
to myself, “Well, of course he’d say that, he’s a pastor!” And I
left it at that. I had NO idea Mike and I were part of the three
that he was praying for as he encouraged the church body
to pick three and pray. Through prayer, God was preparing
the seed to take root.
The Soil Prepped
A visit to my doctor for an explanation and solution to all my
supposed physical ailments left me with a shock wave to
my foundation. He asked me a simple, harmless question
in the middle of our conversation: “Nicki, do you believe in
God? Do you have a church?” I said, “Yes!” and thought, “Isn’t
that what we all believe? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to
do?” Then he said, “Then you should talk to your pastor.” My
inner being knew my answer was flawed and it left me really
pondering the fact I didn’t have that kind of relationship with
any church or pastor. God had just added a burst of nutri-
ents. Now all that was needed was Light.
Light Pierced the Darkness
One Sunday morning in 2009 we decided to go to church.
My little family of four settled into our seats in the former
balcony, right hand side by the tech booth, and waited for
the service to begin. The moment the music began, a sound
filled the sanctuary that my soul had never heard. My whole
body paused to take it all in. Wide-eyed, Mike and I looked
at each other and said, “We’ve been missing THIS???!” And I
began to cry and cry and cry. I can’t explain to you what hap-
pened to me that day but I assure you I left Calvary church a
different person than when I came in. We came back week
after week and every Sunday was the same, shedding tears
of self and letting go. The Word was coming to life and it
helped me let go of my grip on the world and to see the
plans the Lord has for all who believe. God had given me the
gift of Light, right there in that balcony seat!
The Sprout Burst Through
The Spirit slowly transformed my brokenness and gave me
a firm place to stand on. I look back now and see that I had
met Jesus, I just didn’t know it. Slowly He showed me what
He could do with this controlling woman’s heart and took
control Himself. I found my first heart-verse, the one that
speaks into your innermost soul in Phil 4:6-7 and I clung to
that. He was giving me peace that transcended all my un-
derstanding. My health problems had vanished and I was
left with a calm. Roots were growing deeper and my trust in
the Gardener was growing.
11