Calabash_Issue 9 Apr. 2014 - Page 58

bites 7 Reasons why you’re Still Single!! If you’re in the market to find that special someone, but true love seems to constantly elude you, there are several reasons why you might not be attracting Mr Right.  From low self-esteem through to too high expectations, women in particular are experts when it comes to jeopardising potential relationships before they’ve even had a chance to get off the ground. The good news is that there is something you can do about it…  You’re not trying: You may enjoy spending every evening at home in front of the telly, but if that’s the case you have no grounds for complaints about not having a boyfriend. Funnily enough, Mr Perfect isn’t hiding under your bed waiting for the right time to sweep you off your comfy slipper-clad feet. If you want to find him, you’re going to have to put yourself out there. Yes, that means getting up off the sofa and socialising. The occasional night in watching the box is fine, just as long as you’re making the most of your social network and mingling as much as possible the rest of the time.  You’re too fussy: Happily married author of romantic fiction Jenny Colgan has some expert insight for those of you with a long and detailed checklist against which every potential lover must be measured. “Great long-term relationships aren’t made from interests in common, political allegiance, shared belief systems or hobbies. They’re made from people being thoughtful about one another. Little things help like, emptying the dishwasher, listening to their day, saying please and thank you, and treating them as you would anyone you really liked and admired. It’s easier to say ‘I’d walk over broken glass for you’ than it is to take the bins out every night.” So ditch the checklist and start dating with an open-mind.  You’re too busy to date: If you’re serious about finding love, you have to stop hiding behind excuses like ‘I’ haven’t got time to date.” Or “I’m too busy with work.” Is your job really so time-consuming that you genuinely can’t spare the time to go out for a quick drink with someone new? It sounds more like you may be using your super-hectic lifestyle as a buffer to avoid potential intimacies. Slow down and make time for dating instead of using work as the reason not to face your fear of dating.  56 | Calabash Magazine | issue nine You’re a pessimist: It may sound harsh, but you shouldn’t be dating at