Business Marketing Magazine Summer 2017 January 2016 Creating Clear Businesses | Page 5

Want to lose customers, prospects and friends? – Just keep on using
the word “but.”
When you say “but,” they may hear it as you calling them a “butt.”

Editor
Steven Drozdeck

Publisher
Here’s a method to instantly alienate (initially unconsciously, then
Dark Twin Marketing and Publications
quite consciously) almost anyone you speak with. Just use the word
“but” regularly. The word “but” can trigger an automatic defensive
Christy Smith
reaction in people you speak with. This is how it works. When you

use the word “but” it tells the other person that you are disagreeing
Sales Manager
with him or her. For example, “That’s an interesting idea, BUT, I think
Dave Nilson
…” The person hearing this knows that you are going to disagree
with him or her and that the first part of the sentence – “That’s an
interesting idea” – is something that you don’t really believe.
Copyright 2016
So, for the next day or so, pay close attention to how often you use
the word “but” and realize that whenever you do so you’re negating All rights reserved, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievwhat the other person said – potentially making them feel as if you
al system, or transmitted in any form or by
don’t care or are disregarding their thoughts, feelings, or concerns. It any means, electronic, mechanical, photo
copying, recording or otherwise without
is almost a mental slap on the face. Do it too often and you will creprior written permission of the publisher.
ate an unconscious (or conscious) negative, defensive reaction that
will hurt or kill the relationship.
The alternatives to using “but” are starting a new sentence and/
or using the word “and.” For example, “That’s an interesting idea.
Another way of looking at the situation is …” OR “That’s an interesting idea, and another way of looking at the situation is …” You avoid
triggering the defensive reaction.
If you pay attention to yourself for the next couple of days, you’ll
probably be appalled at how often you called the other person a
“butt.” By the third or fourth day, you’ll start shifting your pattern
and create a positive habit to replace the destructive one.

Another “fighting word” is “YET,” especially if it is emphasized. Same
is true for “However.” Yet, neither “yet” nor “however” usually have
the ability to be as destructive as “but.”
In addition to paying attention to your usage of such words, it is
often wise to enlist the help of one or two people that you see on a
regular basis. After all, it is often difficult for us to here something
that is part of our unconscious speech pattern. Other people, however, will more easily hear it, and they may already be very aware of
your usage. Don’t be surprised if you get an earful.
But, it’ll be very valuable information for you to have.
Steven Drozdeck/ Editor

The publisher has no responsibility for
external websites of contributors and can
make no guarantee that a site will remain
live or that the content is or will be legal or
appropriate.

The content in the magazine is
researched to the best of the ability of the
editorial staff. Due to the nature of contributors, this magazine does not verify any
content submitted by external writers.
Every effort has been made to trace all
copyright holders, but if any have been inadvertently overlooked, the publishers will
be pleased