I had always known what I’d look like as an adult. I would always be selling
something, whether that be sugar, weed, or just pleasure, if you know what
I mean. When I was old enough, I knew that I would be dressed up in that
ugly orange uniform–that uniform all of us wore, all of us had to wear. The
uniform I didn’t want to wear. I hated my existence.
Bella moth larvae feed on a leguminous plant species named Crotalaria.
This plant is rich in pyrrolizidine alkaloids, which are basically toxins that
make the larvae unpalatable for predators. The reason why these toxins do
not kill the larvae is because of the gene pyrrolizidine-alkaloid-N-oxygenase,
which functions in detoxifying the alkaloids.
I swallowed everything that the Aunties and Uncles taught me.
I never got to attend school, but I still received a very strict education.
Uncle Jon taught me how to steal bread without being caught. Auntie Jen
taught me how to lie to the cops. Auntie Marie taught me how to bury things.
Uncle Sean taught me how to sneak around people.
Uncle Rob taught me how to trespass rich mansions. Auntie Rea taught
me how to break into cars and take stuff. Auntie Jude taught me how to set
things on fire. Uncle Rick taught me how to drill holes into walls.
Uncle Ted taught me how to use guns. Auntie Sam taught me how to
use men and make profit out of them.
And slowly I gained experience, slowly I grew swift and keen; slowly I
became numb. It was just a way of defending myself, said Uncle Rat.
It has been observed that some bella moth larvae cannibalize eggs,
pupae, or larvae of their kind as a solution for alkaloid deficiency.
By the time I was seventeen I had killed three people. Three girls. Actually
three sisters in my gang.
Leah was a year older than I was when I strangled her to death with
my nylon stockings. She had been going out every night wearing my
earrings without permission. It wasn’t that much a deal to be honest, so at
first I thought about forgiving her. But then she ignored me and even started
wearing my shoes without permission. Uncle Rat told me I should kill her.
So I did. It was all part of the gang tradition after all.
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