BRM 2017 July 2017 - Page 32

People Snorting Chocolate to Get High: Waiting to Exhale, and the chocolate Dust to Settle

In a sweet twist of a food source, now trending is an upsurge of people snorting chocolate to get high. Several powdered chocolate products, including Coco Loko, a cacao-based powder that’s laced with common energy drink ingredients like gingko biloba, taurine, and guarana, offer a short term rush not unlike energy drinks where the user feels more focused on getting things done and less lethargic. If we can get Hershey to add some thought to this idea, perhaps there will be a Hershey Park High, well so to speak anyway. If, in our desire to accessorize everything, cracker crumbs and powdered marshmallow fluff was mixed in, would people then want S’Mores and S’Mores? Nestles may want in as the trend grows and peaks, snack counters offering the mix of powders along with disposable or designer mirror plates and in place of sippy straws now snorty straws. Could be short Snorty’s long Snorty’s, maybe even Power Snorty’s Turbo Snortys’. Will more jump onto the Coco Loko train? Or will the whole snorting thing derail into the track marks of other addictions? Will the CEO get lost in the POWDER TRIP? These questions and S’Mores can only be answered in thyme, or oregano?

Fidget Spinner Inserted into Man’s Butt Tears Him a New One>>>

Ass Phuck-Lore from the BUNGHOLE WRECKERS, as they travel through Bang Lad Assh

In a bizarre expenditure of bad thought, a man was rushed to the hospital after inserting an operating fidget spinner into his anus. As things not well thought out go, this veering from vanilla thought, ended badly for him. It seems that fidget spinners don’t like the dark, or perhaps it’s just the geographic and anatomical location, but it just would not stop trying to spin its way back out. Cutting his internal cavity to where he needed surgery to remove and free the angry toy.

Always there is more to a story before or after the tragic event. In this case the before parts may never be known, butt the after story is that this man’s digression likely just created the need for a new medical training class for E.R. teams, surgical doctors, nurses and others in the steps necessary for fidget-spinner removal as well as the excessive repairs needed for the multiple lacerations from the inside. Ah the cutting edge technology of medical class rooms across the globe.

Now, not to leave anyone’s stones unturned, the toy manufacturer may have a future in the erotic dalliance of sexual paraphernalia even though, as the toy exists now, it is being banned. I imagine a new prototype in the works without the sharper blades of the current model, that will drive the user’s backdoor crazy with buzzing, spinning, lustful bliss. Conjures up the line in a song> you spin me right round baby right round…..interestingly with a band name DEAD OR ALIVE.

Weird Story Lines ...