“Hey bro, how are you?”
“Where the hell are you? Jermaine is looking for you.”
“I’m not going back and you can’t make me. If that’s why you are calling you can get off my phone.”
Surprised at this conversation, Shon can’t believe I am talking to him this way.
“Lil sis, you might want to check your tone with me. This ain’t what you want. “
Before I knew it, I blurted it out.
“I’ve already been beaten, so you can’t do anything to me that haven’t already been done.”
Trying to understand what the hell I’m talking about, he carefully asks me to slow down. Telling him everything that happened, I can tell he is boiling.
“You need to call mama, and I will handle that.”
Knowing I need to call her, I think of every reason not to. The last thing I need is a lecture. Driving and praying, I ask God for direction. Not knowing which direction to go, I think about going back. Sometimes we think it’s easier to go back than to deal with reality. Today, I choose to live my life for me. I will not be another statistic. I will not go back and take a chance on living my life in fear. Thinking maybe he will kill me one day. Dreading this moment, I know it’s the best thing to do. Looking at the phone, I’m not ready for the lecture. However, I already know; once I dial this number, that’s what I should expect.
Driving another hour, contemplating on what I should do; I pull over at the next exit, and make this dreadful call. Ringing twice, and no answer, I wonder if she’s watching the phone; looking at my number. Listening to the phone ring two more times, maybe she’s sleep and don’t hear the phone ringing. Hanging up the phone thinking I dodged the bullet, I suddenly realize I still have no place to go. Life is real when you’re out on the limb by yourself. How do I get out of this mess?
Suddenly the phone starts to ring, and I can’t believe she called back.
“Hey mama, how are you?”
“Sleep, and wondering why you’re calling me in the middle of the night.”
Trying to keep my composure is so very hard to do.
“Sam, I don’t know what you’re going through but there’s no need to cry. Right now, you need to ask God to give you the strength to make it through.”
Listening to what she has to say makes me cry even harder. I want to hang up on her, but something has a hold on me. I listen quietly as she continues to say what she has to say. No judgment, just pure wisdom. After listening to what she has to say, I conjure up the words I never thought I would ever say.
“Mama, I want to come home.”
Unsure of what she would say, I braced myself and waited for her rejection.
“Baby, I never thought you would ask. Come on home where you belong.”
A mother’s love will never die, no matter what you face in your life. To the mother’s out there, continue embracing your children and giving them hope. The world would be nothing without your love.
Happy Mother’s Day