Making Changes With Your Ex When you are working on getting back together with your ex, both of you have to keep in mind that it takes both of you to repair a relationship. Both of you must agree to do what it takes to make it happen. If only one of you wants to make progress, the relationship will be doomed from the start. After both of you have decided to move forward with getting back together, you will have to take renewed steps to get it right this time. Maybe one of you has a habit of a bad temper. Renew your mind so that you don’t flare up every time something does not go your way or there’s something you’re not happy about. Making that step to change bad habits is a plus. Basically, you are starting all over again with your ex. Make it a fresh start. Think about the first time the two of you met and made it work. Get reacquainted with each other. You will have to get to know each other again from the beginning. Think about some of the special times that you had with your ex. See if you can rekindle some of those times again. Seek and ask for forgiveness for the mistakes you made in the previous relationship. Also, forgive yourself for what happened. That is the only way that you can move forward without carrying a burden of guilt. You and your ex need to be willing to change your thinking about certain things. You can’t take some of the same attitudes that you had before and use them. They may be detrimental to your relationship. Work on rebuilding your future than staying stuck in your past. You won’t move anywhere if you don’t move on. You and your ex must be willing to listen to each other. In order to communicate effectively, both parties should have a listening ear. Don’t brush off things that your ex has to say. In essence, you are disconnecting them from you. Disconnection can lead to a distant relationship. Being disconnected can eventually lead to another break up. Be careful of what you say. There are those that have a way of being blunt, and they don’t care whose feelings are affected. You can’t always say what you want to say. Be careful of the words that you speak to your ex. Your mouth can be a dangerous weapon if you’re not careful. Think about what you’re going to say before you speak. A lot of times, it can be the delivery of how you say things rather than what you say. If you say it in a condescending manner, then it won’t be received well. Nourish the relationship and each other. When you do that, you allow the relationship to grow. Be a caring and affectionate person. Show your ex that you care for them and that you are serious about getting back together.