Bossy! Magazine June 2016 Issue 12 | Page 7

No incentive? What is this? A sales campaign. Plus what kind of man are you dating that you have to hold things back from to ensure that if he doesn't marry you, that you haven't given up too much? Really ladies? How many times have you said after your heart has been broken, I am so glad I didn't cook for him? You could care less if you cooked every day or cooked once a month, the pain is the same.

No good advice on love can incorporate holding back. Holding back and not giving is the Anti-Christ to a good relationship. Think about it ladies. We expect our men to give us everything, and show us what great men they are. We expect them to show us responsibility so we can feel secure. We expect them to show maturity so we can relax and be led. We expect them to support us so we can feel empowered, and unstoppable. We expect them to pay the bills to show that if we marry them, they will be able to take care of us. Uh…those are husband qualities. And we expect the Man to show all of this before he proposes. Thank goodness for us, good men don’t hold back. They don’t say “She is not my wife; I am not going to help her with her kids.” They don’t say, “you are not my wife, pay your own bills.” And if they did that to their girlfriend, they would be vilified. We expect men to be pre-Husbands, but blasphemy if you are a wife before the ring.

"In order to truly move on -- and give yourself the best chance at finding not only real love but the right love -- you have to forgive yourself for the bad choices made in the past."

The path to moving forward and building something with someone is NOT to hold back the very characteristics they are looking for. It's like auditioning for the role of chef, but refusing to cook in public. What the experts should tell you is choose better. Choose a man that you can be yourself with. Choose a man that makes you feel safe enough to let go. Safe enough to trust. I also noticed none of these articles advised the women to not sleep with the men. I do agree if you are uneasy about a man that you wait before sleeping with him because of the transference of energy. But I would also question, why are you still dating a man that makes you feel that uneasy

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