Bossy! Magazine Issue 19 June/July 2017 | Page 35

CONTINUED FROM PG 30

First of all who's the cow? Nowadays, both men and women have something to offer; the opportunity to "Milk" is available to both sides. Let's be honest, this cliche basically says that a man will not marry you if you give him “certain things” before the actual marriage, the actual purchase of the cow if you will. Not true. And many wives will be the first to tell you so. If “milk” equals sex, then has every woman who has had sex and not gotten married been milked? See? Doesn’t really make a lot of sense does it? One of the responders to the post, when asked about the cow and milk, actually said, “see if she hadn’t given him the milk and made him buy the cow” then he would probably stay or work through whatever has him weary about marrying her. So I had to ask her..”So you would rather he marry her and maybe divorce her because he saw something in her before hand that wasn’t marriage material? But you want him to marry her any way simply because it has been 5 years? So she should waste another 20?”

When you say these things out loud, it comes across to men like it doesn’t really matter, she just wants to be married…not so much married to me. Why would you want to marry a man that doesn’t see you as his wife simply because of the length of time you have been together? Marriage is not owed to anyone. It is not a prize. It is a union. A venture. A commitment.

Many folks live together to see if marriage is for them. That is exactly what this gentlemen did. After ample time, not a hasty decision, he decided that she and he should not be married. We need to value the honesty in that statement. The freedom in that statement. It’s almost like we want to be married so bad, we’ll take the lie just to have the title.

The CSA says all that to say this, simply: you want to marry someone who wants to marry you because they want to be with you and love you, not just because it’s been long enough.