Bookish March 2017 | Page 19

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our hands off each other , but lately there ’ d been nothing . Pilar would claim she was busy with work or she was having her cycle , or she wasn ’ t feeling well . Silly me would encourage her to rest or take medication , thinking of her well-being . The truth was she was seeing someone else .
It all made sense . Every conversation between us was seasoned with her sarcasm and snappish retorts for no reason . I ’ d done nothing to merit her responses except to be me . Last weekend we ’ d went out for drinks , and I ’ d stared in disbelief as she texted on her phone for the duration of our time together . I ’ d been pretty much ignored until the check came . That ’ s when she finally put her phone away , smiling widely at me . At the time , I ’ d thought it was because we were about to have an intense lovemaking session , but no dice . Her cycle was down , according to her . I knew her cycle like the back of my hand , but sometimes they are irregular . The other night , when the pieces fell into place , I realized why she ’ d been smiling . She was smiling because the time for us to part ways was at hand , freeing her to do whatever else , or whomever else , she wanted to . I ’ d tried to find a friend in a bottle of spirits , but to no avail . I ’ d gotten tipsy , itching to call Pilar and curse her out . Maybe it would have made me feel better for a moment , but I dismissed the thought . When the bottle is empty , and the hateful words can ’ t be recovered , what do you have ? Nothing , the same shit you started out with .
The bed and breakfast was a couple of miles off the highway , overlooking Lake Michigan . Being a Chicagoan , I always regarded it as my lake , not to be claimed by anyone else . The funny thing is you can ’ t claim anything or anyone which really doesn ’ t belong to you . The lake wasn ’ t mine , and neither was Pilar . They belonged to themselves .
I drove the car into the circular driveway of the B & B , stopping the car close to the entrance . I shut the car off , and looked at Pilar .
“ There ' s a corner of your mind , which you don ' t talk about . A small piece of unsatisfied yearnings classified as me . The people may think one thing , but you and I know the truth . And the small piece of your mind can ' t help the storm of emotions regarding me . I ' m a hurricane and every person who comes after me is a spring drizzle . At least this is what I believe , you may feel different ,” I said . “ You go ahead and check us in , while I park the car and grab the bags .”
The look on Pilar ’ s face was one of stunned incredulity . She ’ d probably never really thought about me as a prize , while focusing so much on herself and her beauty . Beauty is only skin deep , but Pilar had yet to learn the lesson . Being beautiful on the outside isn ’ t enough . The underlying assets are what makes a person truly beautiful .
Pilar got out of the car , closing the door softly . The reservations were in her name , but I was supposed to pay the cost of our stay . I pulled the car around the side of the building . With the car still running , I removed her bags from the car , and set them on the ground . I slid back in the car , and made a U turn . Within two minutes , I was back on the highway , headed home to Chicago . I wondered idly if she knew the number of the new person in her life by heart . I hoped so , but then again , I hoped not . I ’ m not so easily replaced .
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