Black Lawyer-ish Issue 3 Volume 1 | Page 17

I took active steps to try to increase my odds. I posted a link to my profile on Bunz Dating Zone, a Toronto Facebook group, asking for honest feedback.

This difference in message rate occurred even though I got the impression that White Hadiya and I were receiving a similar number of views. The same number of men that looked at her seemed to be willing to look at me—they just weren’t willing to engage.

Perhaps what was most shocking and disappointing was that my white persona seemed to receive messages of greater length and higher quality. (I have changed user names to protect the privacy of those who may still be active online, but the handles are typical.) From my black profile:

Farmerboy_27: Omg you must be hiding from STRONG black men if you’re indeed single

Hans_some: greetings how are you today pretty Woman? Hans.

As Black Hadiya, I also received some racially toned messages:

a_man_for_you: I see the black…I see the brown…not so much the white though?

There were messages in both streams from men who expressed interest and who had taken the time to read my profile. But the messages White Hadiya received were from users I would be more likely to go out with.

Ploughman: Congrats! That is the single greatest profile in the history of okcupid! Im going to print it out and put it up on my fridge you adorable little nerd you! Haha im just teasing. You caught my eye though… im a retired pro hockey player finally back in Canada full time. Looking to meet new people and preferably the type that are not hoping to get cast on the next season of hockey wives on tv. There is lots more to know about me but that requires an investment of time and effort on your part to find out! Id like to take you out for drinks. If you’re up for it then ill hear back from you.

Samsamsam: awesome profile! have you read any good (or really awful) books recently?

Anchorman: Hey, how’s life treating you? So…. first message eh, what do you think we should talk about? You know there is a lot of pressure in a first message…. trying to sound all witty, while at the same time trying to seem cool, funny, and awesome….. it’s challenging ;)

Well I have to say, I think I’m pretty rad and you seem pretty rad as well… guess that’s why I’m messaging you. I’m also a glass half full kind of person, and I’ve defiantly got a dash of smart-assess to me too.

Anyway, in the crazy world of online dating I find random questions with no real point are the best way to get the ball rolling, hope you are a fan….

What’s the best thing you did last month? What’s your favourite curse word? And just for fun, what’s the one thing you know for sure?

Well I’m going to jet, but drop me a line if you want to chat

It wasn’t just the pictures and it wasn’t just the messages they sent, but the total package they presented. More of the guys who responded to White Hadiya’s profile were guys I would have wanted to date. They were smart, they were engaged, they were cute. In order to find the kind of guy I wanted—to be seen by him—it seemed that the ultimate message was: I needed to be white.

I admitted to myself that there were non-racial differences that could have contributed to the message rate. Perhaps people found Jessica more attractive, her features more enticing or approachable, her smile more endearing. There is no purely scientific way of measuring these factors. But it is difficult, impossible in fact, to conclude that race did not play some significant role in the message discrepancy between the two profiles.

OnIt’s often said that there is simply no accounting for taste, in physical attraction as with everything else. But dating is supposed to be exploratory and unpredictable (how many liberal-conservative couples have said,

15 BLawyerisH/July, 2017