4
The waiter asked her smiling.. She looked at the menu as if she was still thinking
about it, while she already knew what she would order.. She ordered it every
time she came here..
- Hot chocolate.. With lots of milk and no sugar please..
He walked away silently leaving her to her worst enemy: her own thoughts..
Why didn't she do it herself..? Smart question indeed.. Maybe because she
wasn’t brave enough.. In the last moment before pulling the trigger or jumping
off a building or cutting her wrist, she gets scared and moves her hand away, or
climbs down the top of the building, but if she made a deal with a hit man like
the one she was about to do now, then it won't be her thing to control.. The
bullet that will crack her skull or the car that will hit her will come
Unexpectedly.. If we set aside that this thought made shivers run down her
back, and that all this was total insanity, she found the whole idea a charming
one.. Death will come knocking her door shortly, to take down the curtains
finishing that boring play of her life.. Will there be any applauds..?
She wasn't that afraid of death itself, as much as she was afraid of what would
be coming next.. After the grave is closed on her lifeless body.. What is next..?
Where will her soul or conscious or whatever that thing to be questioned about
her deeds go..? Assuming it was going somewhere from the first place..
She didn't bring the idea from nowhere.. She saw it a while ago in an old
American comic story.. In a series called (shock suspenstories) .. The girl in that
story had the same reasons to want to commit suicide, and like her, she asked
for help.. But the girl in the story was luckier than "Nadine".. It turned out that
the results were wrong and she will live, a good luck that we couldn't accuse
"Nadine" of having.. Every time she repeated the tests she got the same results..