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How to be a better person – The accretion approach Imagine I had a simple answer for you—a “how to be a better person” formula. I am sure you would love it. BY ERIK KRUGER 10 | www.bettermanblueprint.com | ISSUE 01 UNFORTUNATELY, AND FORTUNATELY, life is not that linear. On your road to becoming a better person, you will encounter thousands of people spouting advice, telling you which tools to use, which actions to take, and which roads to follow. Some will try to sell you shortcuts. Others will try to sell you overnight success. I am here to sell you on doing the damn work, getting comfortable with slow, and putting in the effort that will eventually result in an unstoppable you. Shortly, we will turn our attention to a principle I like to call accretion. But first, a story… Pablo Picasso was walking through the market one day when a woman spotted him. She stopped the artist, pulled out a piece of paper, and said, “Mr. Picasso, I am a fan of your work. Please, could you do a little drawing for me?” Picasso smiled and quickly drew a small but beautiful piece of art on the paper. Then, he handed the paper back to her, saying, “That will be one million dollars.” “But Mr. Picasso, it only took you thirty seconds to draw this little masterpiece,” the woman said. Picasso replied, “My good woman, it took me thirty years to draw that masterpiece in thirty seconds.” Today, the name “Picasso” is synonymous with artistic genius, but Picasso was not born as the Picasso we know. He became it. Through years of practice and improvement, he built legendary skill, presence, and a legacy—a perfect example of living a life of steady accretion. ACCRETION “The men who are successful in the end will be those whose success came as a result of steady accretion.” — Alexander Graham Bell It is with Picasso in mind that I want to introduce you to the principle of accretion. The definition of accretion, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is, a gradual process in which layers of a material are formed as small amounts are added over time. How does this apply to becoming a better you? When you live a life of steady accretion, you focus on small improvements over time. You actively decide to trade in quick fixes, overnight success, and instant gratification for the process of incremental improvement. This approach yields the best results and, in my experience, provides the most sustainability. It deals head-on with one of the biggest problems people face when they start their journey to the upgraded self: becoming overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed manifests in two ways. Procrastination and exaggerated expectation. ACCRETION: THE PROCRASTINATION BEATER People are amusing. We will procrastinate as long as we can, until we are finally pushed to the edge of change. You see it when the newbie delays going to the gym because he has no idea where to start. He sits at home watching videos and reading articles. He gathers knowledge but no muscle, waiting for the perfect moment when his newly found knowledge collides with some motivation. Change is overwhelming and often manifests as procrastination. better person When you opt for a life of steady accretion, you are giving yourself permission to start small. Starting small means taking actions that don’t scare you and with which you are unlikely to fail. Our newbie gym-goer could have arranged first to go for a session with a personal trainer who could have shown him the ropes. He could have learned how different machines work and which exercises he would benefit from the most. This small action would have removed anxiety, and it already increases his chances of success. The change can and should be small. Not intimidating. ACCRETION: THE EXPECTATIONS KILLER Another way that being overwhelmed manifests itself is through the lie that we must go from 0 to 100 km/h overnight. I see this all the time. Someone complains that they have been trying to meditate but that the practice is just “too boring and dull.” The conversation goes something like this. Him: “I hate meditation. I see no benefit of it. Who can sit around for 20 minutes thinking of nothing?” Me: “Well, why do you do 20 minutes?” Him: “Because that is what people recommend.” Me: “When did you start meditating?” Him: “Two days ago.” We want to excel at the things we do. That’s fine. But you have to remember that anyone who is great at anything started from scratch, even Picasso. As with anything else in life, good things take time. If you swing for the fences, you will become frustrated ISSUE 01 | www.bettermanblueprint.com | 11