Dear Ask Andi and Andy,
It is the first time here at the beach where I am alone. After being married for six year, my life fell apart being caught in a very nasty divorce, we spent all out summers together here, up to now. The beach house is mine but is an empty place. He was such an important part of me and then so let me down. At 28, it seems that life as passed me by. How can I survive? - “Lonely and Alone at the Beach”
Dear Lonely and Alone at the Beach,
Oh Girl, this is right in my wheel house. I sense your sense of dependency. I have been there in a much similar situation. I looked for answers, some in the wrong places. With some help and a developing need to find answers, I found myself at the brink of disaster. Why me. Why is my world like this and nobody really cares?
One day, sitting at the edge of the ocean and pending storm slowly working it way to the shores, this picture of my dear dad came blazing into my mind. He was telling me something that he preached over and over to me from my childhood though at my teen years. It is you girl who is charge of your happiness, no one else and there is absolutely no one, not anyone, who knows how to make you happy better than yourself”… “You are charge of it, don’t let anyone mess with it.” The tears came mixed with the ocean spray and now the rain. Something clicked…. I got up from sand and told myself “enough is enough”…. “From this day forward….. me, yes me, is in charge of my happiness and I sure the f**k going to make that happen going forward. I am going to laugh, cry, dance, sing and play. Find fun and funny in everything I do.
I was going to be strong because I have to be and happy because I want to be and no one but me has permission to mess with me and deny me my place in this universe. Girl, get in front of a mirror and put yourself in charge of yourself… Do it each morning before you do anything else! Be responsible and accountable for it.
Let me share this with you. I picked it up recently and don’t know the author but reading it each morning in front of your mirror might help guide you each day.
“May today may there be peace within? May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be? May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others? May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you? May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”