whose job is to zealously defend
his client, to concurrently be my
own advocate and my own wit-
ness, to act professionally under
extreme emotional and psycho-
logical pressures, to be required
to follow rules I do not know
exist, to know I am going to fail
to some degree yet still to show
up composed and prepared…all
while taking care of children…
3. Keep it business-like. Using
email as the only method of al-
lowable contact is immensely ad-
vantageous as it keeps arguments
confined to a specific time and
space. Boundaries. I can engage
when ready, think about it until
I am, and decide when or what –
or if – I will respond. But refrain
from devolving into – or engaging
in – personal attacks.
4. Find resources. Read the local
court rules. Buy books on evi-
dentiary law. Make advocates of
court personnel. I have consulted
with numerous attorneys in this
process – asked questions, used
them for trial prep, had them
draft documents for me.
5. I am far more powerful than
I want to acknowledge, and it’s
okay to own that (still working on
this one).
And if I could hug the Me who
existed at the beginning of all
this and say one thing to carry
her through, it might be simply:
you are enough. You are so fuck-
ing enough.
About the Author
Sadie is a single mother to three children and a badass wom-
an who finds a way to handle all the shit life has thrown at
her. Given the dubious distinction of the “worst, most conten-
tious divorce ever” by a family court judge, she has represent-
ed herself in court in over two and a half dozen hearings and
put herself through graduate school, all while taking care of
kids full-time. A self-proclaimed and unabashed overachiever,
she has reengaged with her entrepreneurial spirit and started
a business as a freelancer in consumer behavior and market-
ing communications advising. Though a little panicky about
turning the big Four-Oh in a few months, she is thankful for
a lifetime of good skincare that makes her still look 24! An
INFP/dreamer, she endeavors to embrace life with all its
twists and turns, riding the waves, and actively working to
create a better world for herself and her children.
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