“This is good because...”
I
read this as a small line in Jen
Sincero’s fun and insightful best
seller “You Are a Badass: how to
stop doubting your greatness and
start living your awesome life”. She
was explaining how to shift from
a negative mood into a genuine
good mood, or let’s be honest, at
least a less sucky mood.
Within these four little words you’ll
find a powerful technique to re-
frame your perspective and to re-
shape a negative mood. For the re-
cord, can I tell you that I am 100%
NOT a Life Coach but after years
of yoga and yoga teacher training,
parenthood and marriage and life,
I’m going to go ahead and call my-
self expert on bad moods.
Sometimes this is a running com-
mentary below the surface of our
consciousness. When we hear it
and realize we’re hearing git, then
stop and reframe the situation.
This mood hack works with situ-
ations both minor and petty and
even heart breaking. Why? Be-
cause if you can reframe a situ-
ation, you’ve reframed the per-
spective and meaning of the entire
experience.
With the big ones it does take lon-
ger. A lot longer. But you can usu-
ally get there.
I can’t see a freakin’ silver lining to
this cloud because it’s actually a
funnel cloud F5 twister like the fin-
ger of god coming down to smite
me.
Deep breath. This is good be-
cause…
Your teenage daughter is arrested
for a DUI. (Totally hypothetical. My
daughter is 5.) It ended up not being the trans-
mission.
This is good because she didn’t kill
anyone while driving.
This is good because she didn’t die
in her car.
This is good because I won’t have
to pay for her car insurance any-
more (because she’s losing her li-
cense)
This is good because this is a pow-
erful life lesson that she refused
to listen from me and now she’s
learned it the hard way. My mechanic researched it and
discovered that the $3,000 part
was under a manufacturer recall
and then he had it towed to the
dealership where it could be ser-
viced for free.
It can take a long time and go ahead
and let them start snarky and bitter
as long as you make each line a bit
better. Here’s the secret. Keep go-
ing until it FEELS AUTHENTIC AND
GENUINE. Keep writing until you
finally reach something that trig-
gers a sense of relief and gratitude.
You may have to dig DEEP. It may
only work after more time has
passed.
Sometimes you may not find out
the answer to something until
much later.
For example, I have a great car but
one day while driving my husband
to the airport, a cloud of smoke
billowed out of my engine and the
transmission seized. My husband
jumped out on the side of the free-
way and took an Uber to the air-
port while my preschooler and I
waited for the tow truck. The tow
truck driver pleaded with me on
the way to my mechanic that the
mechanic was ripping me off and
that I should go to his transmission
guy. He was very convincing and I
hesitated, but I decided to go with
my gut and stick with my mechan-
ic.
The dealership discovered that
I had received but not acted o n
TWO safety recall letters (I had a
change of address where it was
lost). The more important recall
that I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT was
the brakes. He said it was so good
that this happened because my
brakes literally could have failed.
I was going to take a solo road trip
with my kids the week later.
This is good because…well de-
spite the convenience. This was
good because of everything. I just
couldn’t see it right away.
Let’s say that your best friend
found a lump in her breast and not
only is it cancer, but it’s the aggres-
sive kind and she’ll need surgery,
chemo and radiation. (This hap-
pened to my best friend this year.)
This is good because at least she
has great insurance and her hus-
band is a nurse.
This is good because she got her
mammogram as scheduled and
detected it as early as possible.
This is good because her type of
cancer is treatable by chemo and
radiation.
This is good because we live in a
first world society with world class
medicine.
This is good because we all realize
now that none of us gets out alive
and we need to love each other
now and fiercely.
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