Badassery Magazine June 2018 Issue 25 - Page 43

“This is good because...” I read this as a small line in Jen Sincero’s fun and insightful best seller “You Are a Badass: how to stop doubting your greatness and start living your awesome life”. She was explaining how to shift from a negative mood into a genuine good mood, or let’s be honest, at least a less sucky mood. Within these four little words you’ll find a powerful technique to re- frame your perspective and to re- shape a negative mood. For the re- cord, can I tell you that I am 100% NOT a Life Coach but after years of yoga and yoga teacher training, parenthood and marriage and life, I’m going to go ahead and call my- self expert on bad moods. Sometimes this is a running com- mentary below the surface of our consciousness. When we hear it and realize we’re hearing git, then stop and reframe the situation. This mood hack works with situ- ations both minor and petty and even heart breaking. Why? Be- cause if you can reframe a situ- ation, you’ve reframed the per- spective and meaning of the entire experience. With the big ones it does take lon- ger. A lot longer. But you can usu- ally get there. I can’t see a freakin’ silver lining to this cloud because it’s actually a funnel cloud F5 twister like the fin- ger of god coming down to smite me. Deep breath. This is good be- cause… Your teenage daughter is arrested for a DUI. (Totally hypothetical. My daughter is 5.) It ended up not being the trans- mission. This is good because she didn’t kill anyone while driving. This is good because she didn’t die in her car. This is good because I won’t have to pay for her car insurance any- more (because she’s losing her li- cense) This is good because this is a pow- erful life lesson that she refused to listen from me and now she’s learned it the hard way. My mechanic researched it and discovered that the $3,000 part was under a manufacturer recall and then he had it towed to the dealership where it could be ser- viced for free. It can take a long time and go ahead and let them start snarky and bitter as long as you make each line a bit better. Here’s the secret. Keep go- ing until it FEELS AUTHENTIC AND GENUINE. Keep writing until you finally reach something that trig- gers a sense of relief and gratitude. You may have to dig DEEP. It may only work after more time has passed. Sometimes you may not find out the answer to something until much later. For example, I have a great car but one day while driving my husband to the airport, a cloud of smoke billowed out of my engine and the transmission seized. My husband jumped out on the side of the free- way and took an Uber to the air- port while my preschooler and I waited for the tow truck. The tow truck driver pleaded with me on the way to my mechanic that the mechanic was ripping me off and that I should go to his transmission guy. He was very convincing and I hesitated, but I decided to go with my gut and stick with my mechan- ic. The dealership discovered that I had received but not acted o n TWO safety recall letters (I had a change of address where it was lost). The more important recall that I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT was the brakes. He said it was so good that this happened because my brakes literally could have failed. I was going to take a solo road trip with my kids the week later. This is good because…well de- spite the convenience. This was good because of everything. I just couldn’t see it right away. Let’s say that your best friend found a lump in her breast and not only is it cancer, but it’s the aggres- sive kind and she’ll need surgery, chemo and radiation. (This hap- pened to my best friend this year.) This is good because at least she has great insurance and her hus- band is a nurse. This is good because she got her mammogram as scheduled and detected it as early as possible. This is good because her type of cancer is treatable by chemo and radiation. This is good because we live in a first world society with world class medicine. This is good because we all realize now that none of us gets out alive and we need to love each other now and fiercely. 42