Badassery Magazine June 2018 Issue 25 - Page 35

S urvivors, this is a call to arms. This is a call to action. This is a call for redemption. Not against anyone that’s wronged you. But against the shit you live with day in and day out because your ego is telling you ‘This is as good as it gets”. This is a call to improve yourself to improve your circumstances. If there is one thing that irks the ever living piss out of my soul, it’s watching ‘survivors’ fall back into old patterns and mindsets because they haven’t made a concrete, not- budging-for-nothin’ decision! Lis- ten, I get it. I know what it means to decide and make a commitment to yourself about literally changing who you are as a person; how you operate and exist in your day-to- day. But you CANNOT sit there and say that you’re surviving and that you’re happy with just that if you’re falling back into old bullshit. Let me explain. If you were totally happy and content in that survival mode of life, then the things that trigger you and pull you back into those old, dusty places wouldn’t have such a hold on you. If you were truly satisfied with ‘your lot’ then that old bullshit would have zero power over you. But it does. And it’s going to continue to rule you unless you really step up and remind YOU of who you really are! I say this with love and my own special mixture of bluntness and compassion: The fears and old bullshit that you ALLOW to control your life makes you the worst kind of victim. It’s not enough to know that you’re not further down that line of survivor-hood. I need you to understand that the allowance, the complacency that you have for all this old shit to crop up and rule you means that you’re victimizing yourself. That’s just something I will not sit back and watch silently. You’re far stronger than you think... and you think too much! I wish I could give you even an ap- proximation of just how many peo- ple have confided in me that they wish that these fears didn’t ruin their lives; that those fears didn’t keep them stuck. I’ve talked to my motley crew of Umbrella-ers and things like failure, visibility, disap- pointing someone, success, and fear of pain, survival, being seen as a fraud, and more are the things that they wish they didn’t have to deal with. Which really, if you think about it, if they didn’t have to deal with them, why would they? All this shit boils down to 1 thing: WORTHINESS. At the end of the day and any which way this particular subject is deduced, worthiness of being good enough, worthiness of love, worthiness of gods-only-know- what is the seed of our fears. Oh! And how fucken easy is it to blame society, a spouse, our parents? It’s so easy to point fingers and assign blame without taking responsibili- ty for our own damn actions! Or, rather, inactions. The moment you DECIDE to stop assigning blame to others for YOUR inaction is the moment that you sever that victim bridge. The link between victim and survivor no longer exists; therefore, you can no longer go back that way and start with the finger point- ing. The second that you take full on responsibility for your shit, for your actions, for your pain, you will have this clarity like nothing you’ve known before. You’ll see that you are far, far, far stronger than you ever imagined and that, at the end of the day, up until this point, you’ve been victimizing yourself. I need you not only to believe this, but to live this. To practice this. The moment you no longer have victimhood to fall back on is the moment that you take your pow- er back from all that bullshit that used to pull you back down! It is in that instant that we start actual- ly healing. As cliche and annoying as this shit can be: time does heal all wounds. But what happens be- tween an incident, your feelings, and the moment you decide to not be dragged down by that shit? You process, you learn, and you take responsibility! You grow up a little bit more. Fuck! You actually die a sort of death; and in some cases, that victim has already died be- cause, SCIENCE! Surviving isn’t Enough Dude you can go through every single day of your life just doing the shit that is expected of you: work, eat, sleep, kids, spouse, sleep, work, eat...you get it. OR you can go through every single day taking conscious, active steps towards becoming the absolute best fucken version of YOU that you can be. I can’t make you get there. Sam and Kathy can’t make you get there. Gary f-n V. can’t make you get there. YOU HAVE TO GET YOU THERE! Plain and simple. Surviving this life and going through the motions just be- cause you think that’s the best you can do is victim-speak. Victims don’t think that they de- serve better. Victims don’t think they are worthy. Survivors 34