we lose what we first had? At some
point, our fun-loving relationship
turned into one that was unhealthy,
toxic, and killing who I was inside.
When did you turn into this horrible
thing right before my eyes? You
have left scars on my heart and my
soul that may never fully heal. You
suddenly turned into an aggressive,
manipulative, controlling thing in
my life. You made me do things I
would have never done without
you. You got me into situations
formal in college, you were the
reason my relationship with my
parents was almost destroyed,
and you were the reason some of
the friends that meant more to me
than anything in the world were
torn away from me.
I found myself feeling such a
dependence on you that I wasn’t
sure how to be confident or how
to be me without you there. You
made me into the outgoing, bubbly
“OUR FUN-LOVING RELATIONSHIP TURNED
INTO ONE THAT WAS UNHEALTHY, TOXIC,
AND KILLING WHO I WAS INSIDE.”
I should have never been in. You
were the reason I never made it
past the bus ride to my sorority
young woman I was. You made
me into the life of the party. You
filled me with the false sense of
confidence that I exuded on a
dance floor every weekend in the
skimpiest outfit. You were the
reason I got the attention I was so
used to receiving. I looked forward
to our weekends together, because
that was the time I felt most like
myself. You had become such
a huge piece of my puzzle that I
didn’t know how to feel like myself
without you anymore.
It took some time, and it sure
wasn’t easy to leave you. People
told me you weren’t good for
me, but I secretly didn’t want to
hear it. There were many times
I considered if we could ever be
together again, to go back to what
we once were. Sometimes when I
saw photos of us together, I missed
you. Maybe after some time had
passed we could be together
again... if things were different...
JULY 2018 • 15