Badassery Magazine Issue 9 January 2017 | Page 39

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mom of 3 , I had tried many different business over the years ... I believe that my first was selling AVON . Years later I started a business where I created “ PERSON- ALIZED GOODY BAGS ” for children ’ s parties . While none of them seemed to “ stick ” I undoubtedly learned more and more about business through each one and though each mistake along the way .
Many years later , I was on top of my game and all my hard work was paying off . I was a Director for a sales company , flying to Vegas , Arizona , Montreal and staying in the nicest resorts and hotel the cities had to offer . My income matched this lifestyle and my family and I were doing well .
The problem was , I wasn ’ t doing well .
On paper , I should have been “ HAPPY ”! I was married to a handsome , caring man , we had 3 beautiful sons , 3 dogs and a nice home . But I couldn ’ t get out of bed in the morning . I wasn ’ t happy , and I was dying inside , depression taking over .
I decided that it was time . My whole life I had been holding a secret , and while I was a “ strong business woman “, “ at the top of my game “ and “ had my shit together ” I knew all along that someday , it would have to come out , I just didn ’ t know when .
When I was 16 years old I ran away from home . Within a week of being gone I found myself being held against my will by two men . The events that took place in that room over the next 30 days changed who I was , and wrote on the script of who I was ever going to be .
When I did return home after the ordeal , I did not tell a single person who I was with or what had happened to me . I was scared , embarrassed , and felt that it was my fault . I went back to school two weeks later , like a zombie that had landed on another planet . They were all so younger , innocent . They had no fucking clue what was out there in the real world . Over the years , my sister , a close friend and my husband heard very minor details . Minor was all could get out , as I watched each of them visibly shrink in size as I told them . I stopped mid sentence to protect them from the pain .
So , at 43 years old I decided now was the time . I would write a book about my ordeal . I KNEW that I was not the only woman out there with this type of story . My purpose was to get my book out to the women that needed to know , that they were not alone . That SOMEONE out there understands .
As I sat each day to write , my excitement grew . It felt RIGHT . The words flowed and my story poured out as though it all happened yesterday . And then it started .
I would be doing dishes and signing , and my hands would start to tremble uncontrollably . Full blown panic attacks soon followed .
After talking to my Doctor , a Medium and a Specialist the diagnosis was concluded . TRAU- MA . All of the trauma that I had suppressed all of those years were rising to the surface at an alarming speed . I didn ’ t get it ?? I was READY to do this ?? I was excited to get my book published !
My doctor put me on Anxiety Medication and while it helped somewhat . I could still feel the knots in my stomach .
I turned to MEDITATION . I had dabbled with it in the past , not really knowing if I was even doing it right .
I decided to sit every single day for 30 days and see if it would help . I felt so good that I committed to another 30 days . Meditation changed my life so profoundly that I walked away from that lucrative job position and became certified to teach everything I had learned . I had found my true soul ’ s purpose and that decision has led me down a beautiful path of love , light , meditation , rituals and amazing like minded friends that I lovingly call my TRIBE .
I don ’ t believe that there is a woman out there who will not benefit from this .
And with that my new business TRIBE MEDIATION and my 4 month online course Shine Your Light were born .
I took my pain and turned it into something beautiful .
I know hold a monthly event 38