Remember that time in junior high when you made friends with one of the popular girls and you guys hung out and did so many ‘ cool ’ things together ? No ? Me neither ! My junior high self stayed true to that awkward , gangly weirdo . And she did it unapologetically ! She gave the equivalent to zeros fucks then . Then she grew up . She listened to the ‘ You ’ ll never find a job with piercings ” and the ‘ You look like a freak with bright green hair ’. She started molding herself into this husk of a person and took jobs that did not suit her . Happiness was elusive and she slowly died .
Fast forward too many years to admit and now we have a woman who , in looking at her 13 year old , gangly weirdo self in the rear view mirror of life , sees a perfect reflection ! Not so much gangly anymore , more fuller from motherhood . Not quite so weird , she no longer identifies as Barnabas Eeep Opp Ork Shamerky Toagie : the leader of The Nerd Herd ( yes ! This was a thing ! And I held that title proudly !). But she most certainly is back to not caring what the world thinks about her and knows that the right weirdos will find her .
EPIPHANIES AND SHIT
We as women hear constantly how we should be more this or less that and honestly ? It ’ s all just too damn exhausting ! What about instead of listening to all that shit you just tell yourself to be more YOU , a more you-ier you than you were yesterday ? Can we do that ? We already live in a world where so many things are glossed over and the best parts are picked out and we let our light shine on just those things ; the “ less desirable ” qualities are stuck in the shadows where we can go privately to cradle them and remind ourselves that they are a part of who we are too . It ’ s so important …
nay imperative … nay … CRUCIAL that we take the sum of our beings and shine our big obnoxious flashlights on ALL of it ! Just like Alanis sang in “ Everything ”: ‘ You see everything . You see every part . You see all my light . And you love my dark .” Do you love your everything ? Do you love your dark ?
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