When it comes to being a powerful , authentic woman , I think there can be a tendency to want to dull ourselves down and try to fit in more so that others can handle our intensity , our passion and our energy . While this can serve a purpose if you ’ re working in a corporate environment and have to let go of yourself a bit for the greater good of the group , this doesn ’ t necessarily apply if you ’ re gunning for a leadership position or trying to blaze the path to startup success as an entrepreneur or innovator . Rather , as a woman who is seeking to collaborate and , to potential grow her own community and to successfully collaborate with others , dulling oneself down is , most often , disempowering and simply a method of avoiding her most authentic self and , thus , minimizing the connection to your most powerful self --your own inner powerhouse .
Staying connected sounds easy , but often , we allow distractions from external sources to pull us away , not unlike a magnet , towards those time consuming and energy consuming people and activities that do not fully align with our own goals . The more that we allow the distractions , the less and less connected to our sense of self we become . I think I learned this lesson best in a failed marriage in my early twenty ’ s . I thought it somehow romantic to completely lose myself in another person and had no clue that really , I was being co dependent and disempowering myself while spending too much time focusing on thinking that I was responsible for regulating what he thought and felt towards me .
Not long after I realized I was doing this , I also saw that I had been doing it ( the completely losing myself ) outside of my personal , romantic relationships , as well . Some time in the military may have contributed as the Army value of selfless service had been driven into my mind . The concept is great , of course , we do want to serve others and to not be overly selfish ; however , I think that , often , women tend to naturally already care , worry about others and focus on the group so many of us actually need to be taught to be more self-focused to improve our confidence .
Holding back the passions that fuel our drive , our determination and our visionary selves acts , in many ways , as a damper for energy transfer through us and towards others . How can one fully lead with confidence , clarity and inspire powerful collaboration if they ’ re avoiding their own inner power source ?
The answer ? They cannot . Connection to your inner powerhouse is essential for success as a leader within your community , your homes and your businesses . Denying your fullest sense of self will lead to a sense of disconnection , reduced energy , symptoms of fatigue , depression and dissociative and unfocused , clouded judgment along with self-doubt . It ’ s a recipe for self-loathing that is not conducive to being your most powerful , badass self .
I made the choice to put in the effort to re connect to my sense of self and plug into my own thoughts and feelings and accept total responsibility for me , my life and my relationship with my inner strength . It was like a lightning bolt striking into my body and I , for a moment , could actually physically feel a buzz as I looked myself in the mirror one day without judgment , for the first time in a long time . I didn ’ t ask myself , “ Do I look alright ? Does this look okay ? What will they think ?” and ,
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