Badassery Magazine Issue 12 May 2017 | Page 49

H ave you ever paid atten- tion to how many excuses a day you come up with? How many times a day you talk yourself out of an idea? Or how many times you hesitated, even- tually decided to take action and wondered what the heck all the bullshit as about? Nope. My kiddo had a rare genetic disorder. 1 in approxi- mately 8500 will be born with urea cycle disorder. (NUCDF) and it wasn’t enough that he was born with this and that he hung onto life until his diagnosis, he ended up having one of the rare versions too. For many years, I made every single excuse I could come up with of why I couldn’t change my life, make the money I wanted to make or write the books I want- ed to write. It was in the moment of his diagnosis at the age of 4, that I realized I have been wearing my excuses on my sleeve. His diag- nosis barely scratched the sur- face of my excuses. Who wanted to hear from a foster kid? I mean up until I had my first kid, I was sure no one was going to like me or even love me. It’s like I was wearing the word reject on my forehead. Exactly one year later, we were referred for liver transplantation because it was literally the only way that his life could be saved and nothing prepared us what we would experience through the recovery. And then something amazing yet incredibly hard happened. I became a mom to an extra needs kid. And not just something doctor’s new something about. We faced the balance of life and death several times, to the point that the doctors couldn’t do more than support him medically. The rest of the right was up to him and every time I share that my son has had 3 liver transplants, people are shocked, and rightly so. Here are the parts I often leave out of his story. I was in college earning my master’s degree in mental health counseling. And I could have quit and focus on the challenges, the chaos and used everything we had going on as an excuse. I didn’t. As he was hooked up to the 9+ IV’s to keep him in a medical coma, and the breathing tube doing the breathing for him, I was reading and studying for the papers I had to write and exams I had to take. This entire experience has taught me to live in the no bullshit zone, and sometimes I call this walk- ing on the level of your soul. You have to be willing to shed the 48