I
’m turning 40 this year.
Finally.
While some people complain and
moan about getting older, I’ve
always known that 40 was going
to kick off the BEST years of my
life!
That’s not to say I didn’t TRY to
make my 30’s awesome, but with
chronic pain, migraines, and a
series of health problems that led
to my death last year, it wasn’t
the best. And don’t worry – I
undied, so it’s all good.
But 40? 40 is the Shit.
40 is when you can completely
let go of all expectations of your
life, surrender to every day, and
give zero fucks when people tell
you what you “can’t” do.
A couple of months ago I posted
about how excited I was that I
was finally turning 40, and some
crotchety lady (who is miser-
able and in her 60’s, bless her
heart) demanded to know why
I thought 40 would be so great
because it’s just another day.
Here’s what I have to say about
that. Want to live like you’re
turning 40 even if you’re 25 or in
your 30’s? Do this:
1. Get Really Clear on Who You
Want to Spend Time Around.
I’ve been upleveling my friend-
ships, my clients, and my busi-
ness besties for the past several
years. I’ve had to cull a LOT of
BS and cut some close ties, even
though we still wave hi online.
The old adage is true: Your life is
just like the life of the 5 people
you hang out with the most. So
if you need to pick better, start
now. This includes your husband.
Learn to train him or get a new
one. I did.
2. Do Things Your Way. When
I first got online I got REALLY
confused about what I was sup-
posed to be doing. In fact I went
to an event where the guy told
me things like, “Don’t use purple
or bright colors on your website.
Use blue – that’s a business color.
And don’t tell anyone you do
Tarot.” Ugh.
This caused several years of flail-
ing around until I said Fuck It!
and started doing what I wanted.
3. Cultivate Your Cult Following.
Create a community that loves
you for your MESSAGE, not be-
cause you’re a coach or because
you sell Mary Kay. You need to
get to the essence and truth of
what you’re really here to talk
about.
The BEST way to do this is to
start your own Facebook Com-
munity. Don’t have one yet? Pick
up my Free Guide and get start-
ed!
4. Watch What Everyone Else
is Doing…and Do the Opposite.
When I first got onto Facebook, I
wanted to create my community,
but everyone told me I “had to”
use business pages. Well, we can
all see how THAT turned out!
If everyone else is doing it, it
probably means it DOESN’T
work. Watch the trends, watch
what people are telling you
works and then make your own
judgment. Take everything with
a grain of salt. If it worked for
everyone there wouldn’t be
hundreds of thousands of people
running around wondering why
they can’t get any clients or make
more than a few hundred dollars
a month.
5. Speak Your Truth – All of It.
You should be EXACTLY who
you are online and in real life.
If you are whiskey-drinking,
motorcycle riding badass who
cusses like a sailor (like me), then
that’s who you should be online.
If you are quiet and demure,
then be that. If you are classy
and sophisticated, then post that
same way online.
You don’t have to be full on and
bring out ALL of your aspects all
the time. However, you can’t hide
these things all the time either.
It’s not fair to your clients or to
you. Case in point – I once sent
out an email message about my
upcoming event and made sure
to cuss in the email. I got a very
upset and angry letter back from
a lady who said she was planning
on coming to my event but was
now backing out.
My response? You’re welcome.
I know I’m going to cuss at the
event because that’s what I do
in real life. How much would it
have sucked if she had spent all
that money and wasted all that
time and then been offended and
upset by my cussing? It’s always
best to be true to you.
6. But… Don’t Publicize the Ugly
Until You’re Through It and Can
Share a Lesson. While being au-
thentic and vulnerable are all the
buzzword rage these days,
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