Growing a Business Despite Chronic Illness by Jeanine Lett
Growing a Business Despite Chronic Illness by Jeanine Lett
It is just five letters , five measly letters and yet those five letters have forever changed my life . The signs were all there , and yet it took years to see it . The two most notable were the fatigue and swelling . During my teenage years , it was easy enough to explain away . I could sleep for hours on end but wasn ’ t I just a growing girl who needs a little extra sleep ? When my legs would slightly swell , and ache it was assumed my love for gymnastics and dancing were to blame . Looking back now those five letters were there all along , but no one saw it . Then again , very few even know what to look for .
During my twenties , my symptoms got so bad I had to take a three-month medical leave from work and was unable to return to my full-time job . I ’ ll never forget the pain , the constant ache and the unyielding fatigue that lead up to that medical leave . It is hard to explain how sleeping for twelve hours does little to cure my fatigue . It is even more difficult to explain why I can ’ t meet up with friends for dinner and drinks
51 because I am utterly exhausted . In all honesty , my family and friends still struggle to understand my disease , and from where I sit I can ’ t blame them . Even I can ’ t put into words the pain I feel when my body swells , or explain why I need a four-hour nap after only being awake for two hours due to fatigue .
It took a seemingly endless cycle of doctors ’ appointments , blood work , and tests for nearly two years before finally learning what was causing such a disruption to my daily life . My pain , the swelling in my body , and my fatigue had a name .
Sitting there in that office unsure what to expect when my physician so easily uttered those five letters strung together to form the word and for the first time I had clarity . L-U-P-U-S , there it was hanging in the air between my physician and me . I instantly felt lighter as though a weight had been lifted off me . To be honest , I was downright thrilled because I finally had an answer and I could begin to find a treatment plan that would work for me .
Nowadays , it is about learning to coup with everyone else ’ s unease and unfamiliarity with what a chronic auto-immune disease is . To put it simply , I don ’ t look ‘ ill .’ You can ’ t look at me and know just how exhausted I am ( thank God for makeup !) and my pain isn ’ t measurable by glancing at me . When a flare-up hits , my hands can swell so much that typing is painful , difficult and incredibly slow going . Driving is almost out of the question because I can ’ t wrap my hands around the steering wheel .
The best part of having a chronic illness that few understand , is when someone pulls me aside and says , “ my cousins-dog-walker ’ s- third-grade-best-friends-mother has ‘ what you have ’ ( apparently all diseases are the same ). She eats mud , exercises eighty times a day , only drinks water from a well in the neighbor ’ s backyard , and she was cured ”. I just smile , look them straight in the eye and tell them how utterly disgusting that is . My