Badassery Magazine December 2017 Issue 19 - Page 66

I went with the flow, until… I couldn’t go on anymore. I burned out and had NOTHING to show for it, well a HUGE pile of half-finished side-projects! My reaction? “Oh well… I proba- bly didn’t want it badly enough”, or. "I’m just not cut out to exe- cuting my own ideas…”. – Oh, hang on a minute… who said I’m not cut out to do this?! I don’t know about you, but when people, or in this case my internal voice, says to me; “you’re probably not cut out to do this shit”, I get pissed off! Interesting, right?! 65 This became THE topic of dis- cussion with the people around me. Why can some people be successful in creating, where others (including me), fail when trying… OVER & OVER again? Most people said something along the line of, “some people are just lucky” ... arguing that successful people are ‘lucky’ to be ‘well connected’; had the ‘right education’; or, came from money in the first place… The overarching consensus? ‘Success- ful people’ are just a ‘different breed’ to people like us… we can strive for it, but, most of us will fail… we’re just not cut out for it… I went nuts! Interesting emotion, right?! But... why? I thought I said I didn’t really want it in the first place, so how come I cared so much? Why? Because I wasn’t going to ‘settle’ with my (then) current situation... That was NOT going to be my future – HELL NO! The next obvious question; how did I WANT my future to ‘look’? To be honest, I had absolutely no idea… ouch! I’d never thought about it! My projections of the future were always just looking a few months ahead, maybe up to a year (if I had a vacation planned perhaps); but, beyond that… NOTHING!